Page 51 of With All My Heart, Joy

Joy stirred at the low, awe-filled tone near her ear. One look into Isaac’s eyes, and it was like seeing a man desperate for something he thought he couldn’t have.

But maybe…maybe he could.

The thought terrified Joy so thoroughly that she jerked from Isaac’s side, moving a good six inches away. The only reaction from him was a frustrated catch in his throat. She didn’t have the courage to check his face and was relieved to see Paisley returning, a rectangular game box clutched in her chubby hands.

“Got it!”

Although Joy missed the connection with Isaac, she did not scoot back. She let the cold seep around her and remind her of all the reasons she and Isaac were not a good match in any way, shape, or form. She had to remember that. She didn’t do age gaps. She didn’t date counselors. And, really, she was in no position to be with any man at all.

Blocking out Isaac’s presence as much as possible, she played Monopoly Junior with Paisley. Isaac watched in silence until he checked the time.

“Paise, we need to get you home into bed. It’s not Christmas break yet, you know. I’m sure Joy needs to get going, too.”

That she did. She’d blown another evening with the same two people who had disrupted her content creation last week. “Your dad’s right. It’s getting late. But I had so much fun with you tonight. I’m super glad you spotted me on the ice!” Isaac didn’t need to know she’d spotted him first. The moment he entered the ice rink with Paisley, she saw him. She’d tried to ignore him. But his wonderful laughter had broken her resolve.

“I not want to leave,” Paisley whined, sitting stiffly, one hand pining down the game board that Isaac was trying to pick up.

“Paisley.” His tone held a warning.

Her lip protruded, and just when Joy thought she would relent, she let out a howl and pounded her other fist on the table. “I say I not want to leave!” Her voice was shrill, her volume on high, and the heads of most people in the building turned their way. Isaac winced but otherwise didn’t react, resolutely removing the board from Paisley’s hand, albeit with absolute gentleness. As he began scooping the game pieces and paper money into the box, Paisley dissolved into hysterical tears.

Joy didn’t acknowledge the gawking onlookers. She was used to public spectacles, thanks to her ill-chosen career. Who cared what these people thought? They didn’t know her or Isaac. And they certainly didn’t know Paisley.

“Paisley,” she said softly, patting the girl’s hand to get her attention over the mewling noise of her tears. Snot was sliding down her face, and Joy dug a tissue from her pocket and leaned across the table to wipe the mess before it hit her lips. “Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to. I don’t like getting up early in the morning, but I have to anyway. You don’t want to go home right now, but you have to anyway. So, why don’t you help us clean this up? There will be another day to play Monopoly Junior.”

Maybe not with her… But saying that would most definitely not improve Paisley’s behavior right now.

Paisley sat without moving. Even Isaac had stopped gathering the game pieces, his attention bouncing between his daughter and Joy. Paisley didn’t utter a single word, but she swiped her hands across her cheeks, took a sniffly breath, and reached to push her remaining Monopoly money into a pile. Her movements were jerky and unwilling. But she did as Joy had asked. Joy pasted an encouraging smile onto her face and, together, they made quick work of putting the game away. When she sneaked a glance at Isaac, he was shaking his head in disbelief.

“A miracle, as I said,” he muttered for her ears only. His words ignited a warm glow in her chest—followed swiftly by guilt. She had to put a stop to this.

As Isaac helped Paisley into her coat, Joy tried to form appropriate words to let Isaac know this type of evening would not be a regular occurrence. They had to go their separate ways, they really did.

“Is your car at the ice rink?”

Reality smashed into Joy’s intentions of ending this right now. She needed a ride.

“Um… I rode with that jerkface, Danny.”

Isaac’s face was inscrutable. “He wants to date you, doesn’t he?”

Joy bit her lip. “He’d like to.”

Isaac just looked at her. He wasn’t making this easy for her. She had a feeling he knew it, too.

She sighed. “Would you be willing to give me a ride?”

He huffed a quiet laugh. “What do you think?”

* * * * *

Isaac had no idea what was going through Joy’s head. As a counselor, he usually picked up on body language faster than an inner-city pickpocket swiped cash. But Joy proved adept at hiding her true feelings over and over. Thanks to her screen face.

“Daddy, I tired…” Paisley trailed off with a yawn, and he squatted down in front of her, letting her climb onto his back for the short walk to his car. The snow had all but stopped, a few belated flakes coming down in a lazy pattern. Joy walked silently at his side, although she turned an adoring smile on Paisley.

He was used to Paisley’s outbursts. They were generally unexpected and explosive, and when they happened in public, embarrassing. Anyone who judged a special needs child had more special needs thanhischild, though. He’d adjusted to the personal humiliation so long ago that it hardly fazed him anymore.

But he was shocked by how unaffected Joy had been by it. For someone so young, she exhibited great maturity and flexibility. She would be an incredible mother. He had no business thinking of her that way, but it was the truth. How she could go through life thinking she was unwanted and worthless he only understood because of his education in mental health. But it was a shame, a real shame, that someone with as much value and virtue as Joy Halverson didn’t feel her worth.

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