Page 29 of With All My Heart, Joy

“Psalm 37:23 and 24.”

The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

On and on he went, spitting out Bible references while Joy read until tears streamed down her face. Psalm 31:7. Matthew 11:28-30. Psalm 18:6. John 16:33. She thought she knew her Bible, but she had never read these verses in this way before.

At last, he lapsed into silence, and she accepted the proffered tissue, mopping her cheeks. Her makeup must be sliding down her face.

“You might be desperate to know you matter, Joy.” His voice was like silk against her emotion-cut mind. “But God is desperate for you to know that you matter tohim.”

The words soaked into her, curling around her heart, and she closed her eyes to savor the moment. When she felt able, she looked up and found Mr. Miller watching her closely.

“How do you know your Bible so well?”

He gave her a soul-searing look. “I’ve gone through my own hard times. I had to put my hope in the Lord to get through. That’s why I work in a Christian counseling center, so I can pass it on to others. How can I hold in what changed my life?”

He was most truly a wonderful man.“You are very good at what you do.”

He smiled faintly. “I love what I do.”

“Why did you become a counselor?” After that heavy subject matter, she needed a diversion.

“Would you believe a client has never asked me that before?”

“There’s a first for everything.”

Something subtle shifted in his eyes, but it was gone before she could wonder much about it. “All right. I’ll tell you. I was a twenty-year-old college student. I was jogging between classes when a dog attacked me.”

Joy put a hand to her throat.

“Yes, right there. It bit me…right there.” His thumb and pointer finger stroked the area directly beneath his chin.

His throat. The soft flesh was covered with his dark beard.

“Besides all the medical attention I required after that—because it went in for the kill—I had a lot of trauma. I developed an unshakeable fear of dogs. I went through weeks of counseling. And the counselor was able to equip me with tools to navigate my fear. It made me want to help people in the same way—even though I’m still deathly afraid of dogs. But I know how to control my fear.”

Joy thought of Silas. “Your best friend has a dog. A big one.”

“Ironic, isn’t it?”

“Does he know about your fear?”

Mr. Miller hesitated, then shook his head. “But that’s between you and me. He knows about the attack. The reason for my beard.”

He had scars. The reality settled slowly into Joy’s brain. “Did you have reconstructive surgery?”

“Unfortunately, no. I was still under my mother’s insurance, which had very high deductibles as it was. The owner of the dog was never located, so any plastic surgery was completely out of pocket. We had to make do with the emergency room physician’s skills with sutures. Sad to say, they were sorely lacking.”

“Good thing you can rock a beard.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. Mr. Miller coughed, then lifted a hand to scratch his hair.

“Uh…thank you.”

Again grateful she didn’t blush like Lucy, Joy tried to redirect quickly. “I’m glad you are a counselor for my sake, but if you have your doctorate, couldn’t you do something else?”

His laugh sounded nervous. “Aren’t we supposed to be talking about you?”

She simply waited, her eyebrows high.

“Fine. I pursued my doctorate because I love to learn, not because I wanted a different job. Technically I could teach at university level, direct a counseling center, or conduct research. But I’m—I’m right where I want to be.”

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