Page 15 of With All My Heart, Joy

His embrace was extra gentle as if he feared breaking her. Joy gritted her teeth. Her family acted like depression made her bones brittle.

“We thought you would come around more often after you moved,” he said as he pulled back. Her mom joined them, nearly pushing her husband away to reach Joy.

“Joy Janise, what took you so long?” She held onto her like she’d been gone a month, not two days since Sunday lunch—which was non-optional. Joy knew better than to skip that, no matter what mood she was experiencing.

“Sorry.” She shrugged out of her coat when her mom let go, passing it into waiting hands. She’d joined the ranks of those who now visited the house and had their coats carried off by her mother. So weird.

“Everyone’s already working on dessert. I made a plate for you.”

Her dad walked beside her to the kitchen and put a hand on her back. “There’s an opening in marketing at the hospital. It sounds like a good fit for you.”

Weariness settled over Joy like a wet blanket. Would her family never accept that she had a job? That influencingwasher job? That she’d worked night and day to establish herself in a way many people dreamed of but never achieved? This was the life she’d chosen, and this was the life she was living—even if it killed her.

“Thanks, Dad. I’ll look into it.” It was easier to leave him with hope. She entered the dining room with a wave. A chorus of welcomes greeted her. “Smells good. Did you help, Luce?”

Lucy sat on one side of the table beside Silas. It was hard not to feel intimidated by her sister’s fiancé. He was a multi-millionaire and had gone from Lucy’s sworn enemy to the love of her life so rapidly Joy couldn’t keep up. But he couldn’t be that bad. He was Mr. Miller’s best friend, after all.

The thought of Mr. Miller warmed her instantly.

“Melody and I both did, but we missed you.”

Joy cast a smile at TJ’s fiancée. Her brother’s Christmas Eve wedding was fast approaching. And she was happy for him. Even if it meant she was the only single person in the room.

Ben, the oldest sibling present, bounced his daughter on his knee. Azalea would be a one-year-old in a few weeks. Ben’s wife Charity spooned pudding into the baby’s mouth. If Victor were here, his wife and three kids would be, too. And then there were her parents, married thirty-eight years.

Good for them all. Maybe that life just wasn’t for her.

“How’s the counseling going, Joy?”

She slammed the door of the microwave, punched buttons blindly, then swung around, her eyes on Lucy, not the speaker of the question. “You toldeveryone?”

It was fine that her parents knew about the counseling. Or even TJ. But not Ben.

Lucy’s blue eyes were wide enough to drown in. “I didn’t think you’d mind.”

She shouldn’t. Ben was her brother just as much as TJ or Victor. And yet, he wasn’t. He had ruined that years ago with careless words.

Joy took an even breath. “It’s fine.”

The kitchen was silent until Ben spoke again. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” Joy jerked the microwave open, pulling her plate out. It was hot, and she nearly dropped it. “Ouch, ouch, ouch.” She rushed to the counter and shoved the plate onto it, then nursed her fingers as her entire family watched.

“Hey Ben, did you see that viral Twitter post about your old school buddy, Sam?” Conversation quickly picked up, and Joy cast a grateful look at TJ for redirecting the focus. If anyone knew her beef with Ben, it was TJ. But they had never spoken of it. She hadn’t even told Victor. It hurt too much to repeat.

She was only six years old, and her joy in life was annoying her big brothers.

“Watch out, Ben!” TJ’s voice cracked with a splendid squeak before a manly throat-clear sounded. “You should slow down.”

“Nah.” Ben’s reply was a grunt. It always was. Joy scrunched her nose from her assigned space. When she entered her brothers’ room when they were playing Super Mario Galaxy, they only let her stay if she crawled under the desk and remained silent.

Her bottom lip protruded as she unfolded one leg, sticking it out straight. Ben promptly kicked her foot.

“Bug off, Joy.”

He was such a grump. Joy wished Victor was home. Victor wasn’t grumpy. Her biggest brother was the best ever. But he was eighteen now. Getting ready for college. Joy didn’t know what she would do without him. He was the only brother who made her feel important. Ben and TJ ignored her most of the time, and Lucy was obsessed with fashion now. Joy hoped when she was twelve, she would care about more than clothes, makeup, and boys. She had six years to go.

Why did all her siblings have to be so much older than her? They were so boring. No one played with her.

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