Page 61 of Past

I sit up in bed, noticing I'm wearing one of Elliot’s shirts he left here with just my mini shorts. I know I drank a lot last night, and I start to think back to yesterday. It hits me hard when I remember my fight with Elliot, and then I went to the shop and bought Tequila. I remember getting back and drinking in my room but not much else.

"Hey, I brought you a bottle of water from out of your mini fridge," Izzy says, and I grab the drink from her as she gets back into bed with me.

"I’ll give you the quick version of what happened. I came back with Blake after a date at around eleven, and you were dancing on your bed, hammered. Then you started crying, and eventually, I got you to go to sleep. That was only a few hours ago, I need more sleep."She yawns.

I can't think straight about last night. What happened with Elliot was a giant fuck-up, and most of it was because I’m scared of how much he means to me.

"What caused this? You told me last night you love Elliot, but you don't know why,"she says.

Holy cow, I haven’t even let myself think about my feelings for Elliot, and yet I told Izzy last night.

"We had a fight. He saw Lily without telling me, and then everything came out about when we were younger. I knew once the fight was over, and I walked out, that I overreacted a little. I just couldn’t turn back."

"Oh," Izzy says, taking my hand and giving it a small squeeze. I look over at her with her messy, blond hair.

"You look like Tinkerbell on crack." I laugh.

"I'd say you look like Cinderella after a long night out, but I'm not sure which of us looks worse." She winks, clearly letting me know that I look worse. I'm sure I feel worse.

"So I get he should have told you, but all it comes back to is this: Can you forgive Elliot and do you love him? Or can you let him go?" she asks me bluntly.

The words run around in my head until I know how stupid I am.I could never let him go; I have never been able to since I met him.

"I love him."

"I know that, it’s about time you caught up, bestie." Izzy nudges my shoulder with hers.

"I'm an idiot; I pushed him away because I was scared. I don't care about Lily or the past. It's him I want," I say to a grinning Izzy.

"You’d best be telling him that, he called me a few times last night to check on you," Blake says from my doorway, making both me and Izzy jump.

"Holy shit, can you knock?" I say with a frown.

"Sorry, I didn't want to scare you,” he says, but the smirk on his face doesn’t look sorry at all.

“Honestly, with your hair looking like that, Allie, I'm feeling a little scared." Blake laughs, and I hear Izzy chuckle. I can’t look that bad.

"Out, both of you."

I shoo the laughing pair out of my room before searching for my phone. I find it in my bed, but it's flat so I charge it while I have a shower.One look at myself in the mirror shows how terrible I look. My hair is sticking in every direction, my mascara has run, and I must have eaten cheese puffs last night because I find one in my hair. Blake was right, I do look scary.

I change into some skinny jeans and a long-sleeved, purple, V-neck top after my shower. I finish drying my hair and leave it down before turning on my phone. I’m surprised to see five phone calls from Tristan and none from Elliot. There's a voice message, so I play that before I call Elliot and Tris back.

"Hey, Allie, can you come to our old house when you get this?" is all Tris says before it goes dead.

What the hell was wrong with his voice on the phone? He sounded out of breath, and why would he want me at that house again. Deciding it's likely because he lost something there, I call Elliot three times before giving up and sending a simple text.

Me: I'm a big idiot and I'm yours always. Call me x

Not knowing what else to do, I leave for the drive to my old home. I should start calling it my dad’s place, I guess. I pull up around twelve at the house and frown when I don't see Tris’ car anywhere.

I slam my door shut, hoping he just needs a lift, and let myself in. I walk into the kitchen to see my dad sitting alone at the table, drinking a coffee.

"Alexandria, you decided to grace me with your presence," he sneers, not pretending to be the loving dad I'm used to. He is wearing an expensive suit, which I've never seen him in, and his grey hair is styled back. The scary blue eyes he has stare back at me, making me truly scared for the first time around my dad.

"Where's Tris?" I ask, looking around.

"Busy, and he will be for a long time," Dad says, and the way he says ‘long’ makes my skin crawl with worry.

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