Page 93 of Allure

"Right," I say, which is the truth so far. I'm about to do something I probably shouldn't, but that hasn't happened yet, so I'm not lying for once.

“I’ve been going to a new therapist,” my mom starts, “and I have to say that he really opened my eyes to a lot of… issues… that I didn’t want to even consider about myself and about… your father.”

I wince. “Mom, please, I really don’t want to get into that.”

“I understand,” she says in the gentlest tone she has ever used. “I have just come to realize how much I was wrong, how many things I pretended weren’t going on… I failed you, and I’m sorry, and to see this about the class… Despite your father and despite me, you have grown up to become an incredible, amazing, stunning woman. Your future is so damn bright, honey, that I’m going to have to wear sunglasses around you.” She pauses. “Whenever you want me to see you. I never should have flown out there unannounced. That was beyond the boundary of normal, acceptable behavior.”

I blink a few times. “This therapist must be worth his weight in gold,” I mutter.

“He is.” My mom giggles.

My mom doesn’t giggle.

“Mom? Is there something else I should know about this therapist?”

"No, no. Not him. I would never date my therapist. That would cause so many issues, and I need him to learn to truly forgive me. Today has been a good day for that, but tomorrow, I might very well regress, but I also need you to forgive me."

My heart pounds. Forgiving my mom for ignoring my father’s abuse… I never thought the day would come.

But it has. My mom isn’t perfect, but neither am I.

Neither is Declan.

No one is, and the past was hell. There’s no denying that, but clinging to past wrongs will only ever drag me down.

Maybe I need to rethink my whole plan for revenge against my father’s business. Then again, I am definitely forcing out all of the corruption and illegal business practices no matter what.

“I should say that I would like to ask for your forgiveness,” my mom clarifies. “Not that I need you to. I’m not pressuring you in any way. I know that… You went to college so far away in part to get away from me. I never harmed you directly, but I might as well have. Inaction can be as devastating as action.”

“Mom?”

“Yes, Brooke?”

“I forgive you.”

She chokes back a sob, and we talk a bit more about her new boyfriend, who is the brother of her new therapist. She started to date the brother first, who introduced her to his family, and that was how she ended up with a new therapist. A bit strange, to be dating the brother of your therapist, but he sounds like a damn good one, and even more so, he’s helping her. She’s happy.

And she’s dating again. I can’t believe it.

“I love you, Mom.”

“Oh, Brooke.” She sighs. “You haven’t said that in years, I don’t think, and I didn’t even realize that.”

“I’m sorry.”

"No. You have nothing to apologize for, and I love you so much. I just wish…"

"I wish you all the happiness in the world, but don't rush things with this Albert guy, okay? I don't want to have a phone call in a week where you tell me you're on some remote island for your honeymoon because the two of you got eloped."

She giggles again. “I couldn’t get married without you,” she protests, “and I don’t even think I could accept a proposal without your meeting him first. I know you weren’t planning on coming home often, but maybe for Thanksgiving…”

“We’ll see, Mom.”

“Of course. That’s a long way off yet. Oh, my, you said now wasn’t a good time. I’ll let you go. I love you, Brooke.”

“Love you too.”

I hang up and sit there, contemplating. Had it really been years since I said that to her? It could very well be the truth. I have never said those words without meaning them, so when shit hit the fan, when I had been pushed to the limit, I didn’t cave or break down. I grew up overnight, and I took charge of my life.

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