Page 90 of Allure

But maybe I should.

“Will pumping iron help to take your mind off things?” she asks.

“We don’t normally work out this late,” I protest.

“If it might get you to stop worrying and wondering about Declan, isn’t it worth a shot?”

“Thanks, Dawn. I do think lifting weights might help.”

So we head over, but spoiler alert: it doesn’t help.

Worse, I’m not sure what will.

CHAPTER31

Dawn and I get back to the dorm after working out. I showered at the gym, and so did she, but I almost want to shower here again just to have something to do.

We have more than enough food items, and honestly, I've been going to the grocery store a ton. I don't need to, but it's something to do. I mean, sure, I could go out shopping for shoes or a dress, but I don't technically need either, and the food or drink will get consumed, so that's money better spent, right?

What I should be doing is studying, but I know I’ll only become further frustrated if I try that. I’ll not be able to concentrate, and it’ll just annoy me all the more.

Stupid. I shouldn’t care. Julie or some other girl, who cares if Declan’s flirting with them? Touching them? Kissing them? Doing what he did to my body?

I never should’ve given into him a second time. We had been in a decent enough place then, but now? Now, we aren’t even friends.

I think that hurts almost as much as the thought of him being with another girl sexually.

“Let’s go,” I say to Dawn.

“Sure.”

Some of my anger and hurt melt away. She's ready to come with me anywhere, doesn't even know the place.

“You’re a great friend,” I tell her. “You know that, right?”

“I try.”

“You don’t try. You succeed.”

I drive us over to New Age Grocery. We wander up and down every aisle. I knew they sold a few books, but I hadn’t realized they offered a few cookbooks.

“Protein-Loaded Desserts,” I read. “What do you think?”

“Delicious Meals You Won’t Even Know Are Healthy,” she reads.

“Do you want either?” I ask.

She makes a face and skins the one she eyed and then the one I pointed out. “Nah. You can find a gazillion recipes online, and besides, I’m trying to avoid the kitchen right now.”

"So, does that mean you aren't going to start interning for that cook?"

“Oh, I have. I’ve been.”

“Wait, seriously? How did I not realize this?”

“You’ve been so consumed with karate. It’s taken over your life. Not a bad thing, but it does explain…”

Why losing Declan feels so devastating. Which is stupid. I never had him in the first place.

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