Page 72 of Allure

She’s as guilty as my father.

She’s lucky she’s alive.

* * *

I return to collect my books and head to the dorm. Dawn’s there, eyeing the protein drinks.

“Have one,” I suggest.

“I will. After I go to the gym. Heather is going in an hour. Want to join us?”

“I can’t. I’m sorry. Too much to do.”

“Couldn’t concentrate at the library?”

“My mom called.”

She takes one look at my facial expression and winces. “That bad, huh?”

“I lied to her, told her I hadn’t been mugged.”

“Geez.”

“Does your mom ask you hugely intrusive questions?” I blurt out.

“Well, my mom is a nurse, so… to some extent, but if I don’t want to answer anything, she won’t force me to or hold it against me.”

“You’re lucky. Your mom respects you.”

“I’m sorry, Brooke.”

“I don’t want you to apologize. I’m happy for you. It’s nice to know that some moms genuinely care instead of trying to manipulate their daughters into behaving a certain way and trying to turn them into puppets or mini mes or whatever it is that my mom’s doing.”

“That sounds awful.”

“Yes, well… actually pumping some iron might help me. Want to head over now and catch up with Heather when she gets there?”

“Sure. I’ll see if she can come earlier.”

So we go, and I lift weights until my arms feel like they’re going to fall off, and I work my legs so hard that I can’t walk straight.

But all the while, I kept hearing my mom's voice in my head, asking me over and over again questions she had no business asking, questions she couldn't even ask because she didn't know about him.

“Do you love Declan?”

“Are you leading him on?”

“What if he has an STD? What if he gives you one?”

“Why can’t you accept that people make mistakes?”

“Why can’t you ever forgive anyone?”

“Maybe because too many people have failed me,” I mutter as I finish wiping down the weights.

A guy glances at me, but he has headphones on, so he couldn't have heard me, and I ignore him and head on over to the treadmills where Dawn and Heather are at it. Dawn's still not going that fast, but the incline is steep. That has got to be killer on her calves.

I chat with them until they’re done, and we leave, but I can’t get that one question in particular out of my mind.

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