Does he mean dessert ordessert?
Does it matter?
“It would be nice to hear an apology,” I murmur, “but considering I’m having to ask for it, that doesn’t bode the best for my believing it’s sincere.”
“So there’s nothing I can do?” he asks, frustration coloring his words.
I say nothing.
“Why did you… Why did we…”
“I wouldn’t call it a lapse of judgment,” I whisper.
“So what would you call it?”
Mistake.
One I want to repeat.
Weakness.
Something I don’t want to admit that I have.
Lust.
An emotion that has caused me to make more mistakes and to be weaker than any other.
His eyes narrow. "Yes, maybe I started things off between us on the wrong foot, and I was at fault for that. I won't deny that, and if I could go back and change things, I would, or maybe I wouldn't because I do like where we're heading, or at least I thought I did, but you've been so distant lately… It's like I don't even know you."
“Did you ever?”
“I was starting to get to know you.”
I roll my eyes. "My body, maybe."
“Your mind, too, and I thought your emotions, your… Aw, fuck it. You said as many biting things as I did to you. Yes, again, my fault because I started it, but you escalated it, and if you can’t see that we’re both to blame for hurting each other—”
“Did I really hurt your feelings?” I ask, hating that I’m curious, wondering why I don’t believe him. He seemed so unaffected by my insults, which might be some of the reason why I kept saying them.
“By pushing me away after… by leaving my bed with hardly a word… yes, you hurt me, but I can forgive you for that without your even saying you’re sorry, but if we’re at an impasse, then we’re at an impasse.” He works his jaw. “I’ve been helping you, and I’ve been doing what I can to try to catch the mugger even though… Forget about it.”
My heart hurts, but I let him stomp away from me. That couldn’t have gone worse, and he had a point. He bullied me first, but I tried to stick up for myself—
Yeah, fuck that. He can try to spin it all he wants that I bullied him back, but that’s bullshit, and he knows it. The other part, my pushing him away and leaving his bed like I was ashamed, I can understand that hurting him, but the rest? No way.
I trail behind him to Sensei’s office. I wasn’t sure if Sensei would still be here, but he is, and he grins when he sees us.
"Worked up a good sweat, you two, I see."
“Here you go.” Declan shoves his laptop into Sensei’s face.
Sensei is quiet, his face a mask as he reads, and slowly, he nods. "This seems perfect. Very well done. I'm impressed. Next task? Spread the word, and be sure to tell all of your female friends. Put up flyers, posters, handouts, everywhere. It'll be in a month."
A month. How many women are going to sign up in a month’s time? And I’m going to have to practice things with Declan over and over again to make sure I don’t fumble and screw up in front of the crowd.
This is going to be interesting, especially if Declan and I remain at odds.
All I wanted was an apology, but apparently, that was too much to ask, and if that's the case, if my feelings mean so little to him, then clearly, I hardly meant anything at all to Declan.