Page 34 of Allure

But I welcome the pain, the coming soreness.

I want to feel anything but the pressure of the gun against my skin.

Anything.

That mugger stole a lot more than twenty bucks.

He stole my peace, which even Declan hadn’t been able to destroy.

CHAPTER12

Like I said, I’m going through the motions, which means I do head to karate class. I walk, my clothes in a bag, and I’m ready just as Sensei calls for us to hit the mat.

I’m the last one on the mat, and I take my proper spot. To my surprise, Declan doesn’t come onto the mat to lead warmups. Sensei calls for Sempai Evelina to lead them instead. Sempai. On the mat, I should call Declan Sempai since he’s earned his black belt, but I don’t bother. Rude, maybe, but it just feels wrong almost to listen to the tall, bruiser of a woman call out the stretches. She doesn’t have us hold the stretches for nearly long enough.

That Declan isn’t here… it’s the first time since I’ve been here that he isn’t here, and I don’t want to have to deal with any of his shit, but it also throws me off-kilter, and my world has already been tilted on its axis.

It’s as if I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I’m about ready to say fuck it and shrug, releasing the world and not giving a shit about the carnage and catastrophe that waits for us.

Sensei is the one to instruct class, and it's back to punching and kicking for some of the class and then more grappling work, but when am I going to have to grapple with someone on the street? I mean, I guess if the mugger had wanted something other than my wallet…

When there's nothing truly applicable in the real world taught in class yet again, I can't help it. As I change into my regular clothes, I keep debating whether or not to quit.

I can’t just do that, though, not without talking to Sensei first. That would be rude, so even though this isn’t a conversation I want to have, I force myself to head toward his office and knock on the open door.

“Do you need something, Brooke Adams?”

“A moment of your time.”

"Let me just appoint someone to take over the lead with warmups for the next class, and I will be right with you."

He marches out of the room. He doesn’t rush anywhere, and it’s almost like nothing starts without him.

In a few minutes, he returns and shuts the door behind him before taking his seat at his desk. “What’s on your mind?”

“You know I started to take karate because I wanted to learn how to defend myself.”

“An excellent reason to start.”

“Yes, but I haven’t learned anything worthwhile yet.”

“No? Roman wasn’t built in a day, and I believe I already mentioned to you about how you can’t walk or run until you first learn how to crawl.”

“I know. I get that. In theory, that’s solid.”

“In theory,” he repeats. He places his hands on his hip and tilts his head, his eyes narrowing slightly.

I pissed him off.

Too fucking bad.

“Yes, in theory. I was mugged last night at gunpoint, and there wasn’t a fucking thing I could do about it!”

“You want to learn weapon defense.”

"I want to learn how to defend myself, period. From anyone. From any threat. I can't… Punches and kicks are a cornerstone of karate. I get that, but you can't punch a guy who's holding a gun. You can't kick him in the nuts because he could just turn around and shoot you!"

“Gun defense is mostly about trying to disarm your opponent and running away,” he says. “Your safety and your life are most important. If he wants your car keys, you toss your car keys away. Not at his feet. Use any excuse you can to put distance between you and the weapon—”

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