Page 9 of Bewitch

No. No, I need to stop being cranky and acting like this. She’s done nothing wrong.

After I wipe down the machine, I walk away.

And that’s when I hear it.

The whispers and the laughing.

It’s not directed at me,I try to tell myself.Don’t let it bother you.

I try to steel my nerve, but when she’s laughing again, I can’t help but feel self-conscious enough to glance over my shoulder.

Sure enough, she’s staring right at me, her hand covering her mouth as she says something to the girl on the bike next to me. They both laugh.

My heart sinks, and I feel as low as can be.

Whatever. Screw them. I’ll just get on an elliptical. That’s low-impact, and my knee won’t bother me on it.

I swear since I made that decision, everyone has decided to use the ellipticals, too, and there’s only one that isn’t in use. That same girl with the perfect hair and nails though reaches the elliptical at the same time I do.

She doesn’t even look at me, acknowledge me or anything, just climbs on and starts to go.

But I smile at her, trying to maybe see if faking it until you make it actually is a legit thing.

“Can you let me know when you’re done?” I ask.

She doesn’t look at me. “Won’t be for forever, she says, cracking her gum at the end.

And she cues up a show on her iPhone for her to watch. No, not a show. A movie.

That’s all right. Other people will be done before her. It’s all good.

I won’t cower. I won’t leave.

But there’s nothing for me over here. I don’t want to be on this side of the gym with her, and the classes that the gym has don’t start until later, so there’s nothing for me except for one thing.

Free weights.

And the lifting machines.

Not that I know how to use any of them. Lucas hadn’t showed me how to use them, and I’m so not willing to try to figure them out on my own which means body weight exercises for me.

Trying to ignore all of the guys who look like they could swallow even someone my size whole, I head over there. There are a few girls here who look like they know what they’re doing, but I try to avoid looking at anyone in the hopes that they won’t notice me.

Because of my knee, I’m not so sure what I should do. Lunges are my go-to leg move, but walking doesn’t hurt any so maybe just walking around with weights would be a good idea. I need to build up my arms, hands, wrists, what have you, so that I can start to increase my overall strength and be able to use heavier weights one day. That’s the whole point, right? Would it be better to use heavier weights for fewer reps? Or lesser or even no weights and do more reps? That’s a question for Lucas.

I blow out a breath and pick up the five pound weights. Then, I turn and start to walk around the huge rectangle that makes up the weight-lifting area of the gym. A ton of the other people are using the floor-to-ceiling mirrors to check on their form, and I’m careful to not walk in front of them to respect them.

“You’re just walking around carrying weights?” someone asks from behind me.

Ignore. Don’t engage. Keep going.

I keep on walking. My arms hurt. The muscles burn. It’s so stupid that I’m this week, but I keep on going. My arms are starting to shake. That’s how much they hurt, but I keep on going.

There are more comments and whispers as I start to make my third lap. How many steps is this? Is this really going to help me any, or am I just embarrassing myself?

“You’re back.”

Lucas.

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