Page 12 of Bewitch

But the kicker is low carbs. As in seriously low. As in I have no idea how I’m going to handle that. Using lettuce as the bun for a cheeseburger? No sandwiches with bread? I’m more than willing to switch over to whole grain bread or whole wheat even, but keto bread sounds weird, and I’m sure it tastes weird too. Is there even such a thing as keto pasta? That’s probably not a thing, and I love pasta. I’m a large percentage Italian. Of course carbs are my life! And they love me, gluing themselves to me all over the place.

So… I’m thinking keto isn’t for me. If I know myself, just the thought of keto lets me know I’ll fail and fail hard. I can’t risk rejecting carbs out of hand like that.

What else is there?

Hmm. Intermittent fasting. That’s where you only eat in a certain time frame during the day. The thought is that the body will then be triggered to use up fat stores during that long fasting window. But some people fast for a crazy amount of time, sixteen hours, even longer! How can they go so long without eating? I’m almost always hungry as soon as I wake up in the morning, but I guess you could train your body to eat later. Still, I can just see myself thinking, shit, there’s only five more minutes left that I can eat for the day, how much food can I cram into my mouth? And isn’t breakfast supposed to be the most important meal of the day? Not because of what you eat either but because you’re eating and firing up your metabolism. Or something like that. Yeah, I really don’t think that IF is the best of ideas for a person who has a known problem with bingeing.

Hmm… There’s the Atkins diet, but that’s low-carb again. Not sure that would work for me either. I’m not even bother trying to figure out what the difference is between that and keto.

Finally, one that doesn’t seem all that bad. The South Beach Diet. It’s not about no carbs or even low carbs, and the same with fats. It’s about the right carbs and the right fats.

Let’s see… the diet is broken up into three parts. With each later stage, there’s more and more carbs. Obviously, that means that fat and protein goes down. The first stage sounds a bit insane. Lean meat is fine. Vegetables… I’m used to eating them smothered in sauces or butter, so that’ll be fun, trying to get used to eating them plain, but I do have to start somewhere, right? There isn’t a restriction on calorie intake, and you’re supposed to eat three main meals and two snacks per day.

In theory at least, this doesn’t seem too bad at all, but I’m not convinced yet, so I keep looking. My stomach growls at me, but I push the feeling of hungry aside, spit out my current piece of gum, and shove a new stick into my mouth.

There, of course, is vegetarian diets. No animal food or byproducts. Or is that vegan? I’m not sure, but I enjoy meat too much to personally take on this diet, and it doesn’t even seem to me like it’s a diet. It’s a lifestyle choice, and I respect those who follow it. I do, but I need something that will help me lose weight, and I know my body is going to need protein to help promote muscle growth, and that will be so much harder if I’m a vegetarian or vegan.

One diet that catches my eye is the carnivore diet, where you only eat animal byproducts. Um, that definitely means super low carb, number one, and I just don’t see how that can possibly be healthy long-term. Won’t that cause issues with vitamin deficiencies? Yeah, pass.

There’s Jenny Craig, naturally, or Weight Watchers, but I’m not sure. I’m not really interested in supplements, and I’m already paying a decent amount for the personal fitness trainer on top of the gym membership. Not that my mom is going to bellyache about paying those bills, but still. And counting points? I can already see myself trying to “forget” to add points in, fudging numbers, overeating…

Basically, I don’t trust myself at all. Not even a little bit.

Honestly, when it comes to food, I don’t think I’ve ever trusted myself.

* * *

Five of two on Tuesday afternoon, I march into the gym. I’m already wearing my gym clothes in the hope to psych myself up for a round of torture with Lucas.

He’s talking to Pamela as I enter, and she waves me over.

“You’re going to slay your workout today, aren’t you?” she asks.

“I’m going to try,” I mutter.

Lucas grunts. “You need to work on your attitude. What you put out into the world matters,” he says as he marches away, forcing me to hurry to keep up with him.

“Is there a balloon somewhere that can benefit from all of the hot air you’re putting out into the world?” I mumble.

He glares at me. “Instead of making snide remarks, let’s just get started. First—”

“Before we get into stretches, because you should’ve had me stretch the other day, right?” I ask, my tone sickeningly sweet. “I was hoping to ask you a question.”

He groans. “Here we go.”

“Excuse me?” I bite out. “Do you treat all clients like this, or do I get special treatment because of the extra weight I carry? Wouldn’t most of your clients need to lose weight too?”

“Some just want to become stronger. Some want to become bodybuilders and need help getting ready for a show. And the others you don’t need to worry about. Focus on you and you alone.”

But as he says this, he’s turning to watch a girl who could be a model walk on by.

“Shouldn’t you be focused on me and only me too?” I ask.

Lucas slowly turns back to me. “What’s your excuse not to work out? I mean, your question.” He scowls at me.

“I’m not wasting your time,” I protest.

“Can you talk while you stretch?”

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