Page 7 of Let Me Be the One

“Okay.” Cass nods. “I’m not going to nag you about dating when you’re clearly not ready to think about it yet. But I’m not prepared to stop nagging you about getting on with life. When was the last time you left the house to do anything other than go to work?”

Truthfully, I can’t remember. I do all my shopping at work, after my shift ends, and then come home to my cat and Netflix.

“Hmm, I thought so,” Cass says, interpreting my silence correctly. “I want you to come out with me this evening.”

“I don’t feel like going out, Cass.”

“Which is all the more reason why you should. You haven’t had a night out in three months. It’s time to start living again. Maybe you’re not over Lucas yet, and maybe you’re not ready to start dating again, but you don’t have to sit around moping in bed. A few of the cast of Green’s Law are getting together at Barnaby’s Bar & Grill tonight. I want you to come out with us.”

I’ve met Cass’s co-stars a few times. They’re good value and they’ve always welcomed me into their little group, but they’re Cass’s friends, not mine. The cast of Green’s Law have in-jokes and memories I’m not part of, and I know I’ll just sit there smiling and nodding and pretending I know what they’re talking about when I really don’t or listening as they fill me in on why something is funny, thus ruining the joke. They’re already an established group and I’ll be an outsider if I go.

“I just don’t think tonight’s the best night for me to try getting out. I’m not in the best headspace. I’ll just bring everybody down.”

Cass’s expression goes from stern but understanding to hard and unyielding. “Let me put it this way; you’re coming with me, like it or not.”

“Cass—”

“No. No excuses. I don’t want to hear them. You’re depressed and angry, and I get it. But it’s time to break you out of your funk, and as your best friend it’s my duty to do it. I’ll call Tara if I have to.”

Dread rolls through me at the thought. Nothing could be worse than having my perfect younger half-sister here. She wouldn’t understand what I’m going through because everything comes easy to her. If Cass calls her over here, Tara will turn up with a whistle and whip and pester me about getting over Lucas. Worse still, she’ll tell my father that Lucas and I are over, which will be just one more disappointment to him. Dating Lucas was one thing I did right in my father’s eyes. It won’t matter to him that Lucas was in love with someone else from the beginning; my father will blame the end of our relationship on me.

“They’re your only options, Lainey. Come out with me tonight or I’ll call Tara first thing tomorrow.”

If my options are being the outsider for one night or having perfect Tara here ‘helping’ me get over my heartache, it’s an easy choice.

“Fine,” I sigh. “I’ll come out with you tonight.”

Cass beams at me, as if she hasn’t just blackmailed me into spending time with her and her posse. “Now, Barnaby’s is a nice spot with a club next door. Come dressed to kill and I’ll pick you up at six. We’re having dinner there.”

“Yay.”

My fist pump must look as put on as it feels because Cass gives me a pointed look. “There’s still time for me to call Tara.”

“Don’t you dare! I said I’m coming.”

“Well, a little enthusiasm wouldn’t kill you. Promise me you’ll come out with an open mind and try to have a good time.”

“I’ll try.”

I don’t expect tonight to be a hugely fun experience, and I don’t really want to go, but I don’t want to ruin the evening for everyone else. Moreover, I don’t want to upset Cass. She’s a good friend. And since friends are in such short supply these days, I don’t want her to think I’m not grateful for her friendship.

Besides, maybe it will be nice to have some company for the evening, even if I don’t really know these people. Even if I am the outsider. The last three months have been spent in isolation. My choice, of course.

Well, my choice for the most part. There is one person I reached out to—someone I’ve tried to connect with these past few months. I sent Ben two text messages after the breakup. The first message was to ask how he was and the second to ask him if he wanted to talk or catch up. I had a brusque reply to the first SMS and no reply to the second.

I’ve always known Ben isn’t a friend, per se, but I still feel a little cut that I didn’t rate the twenty cents it costs to return a message. We may not have a great deal in common, but after being in each other’s lives for a solid year and a bit, I thought I deserved better than that. I miss him.

“You should do some cleaning today,” Cass says, walking backwards to the doorway of my bedroom. “When I come back tonight, I want this place all cleaned up.”

“Yes, Mum.”

As Cass walks out of my unit, I pick my mobile phone up off my bedside table and look at my messages. Why hasn’t Ben messaged me back? If anyone understands how upset I still am and why I don’t care about cleaning, it’s Ben.

Opening up the last text I sent him, I type out another message: Hey, it’s Lainey. Can we catch up sometime?

In the two months since my last text message, I haven’t heard a word from him, but I can’t resist trying one more time. And if he doesn’t respond this time? Well, I won’t bother him again.

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