Page 58 of Let Me Be the One

This isn’t high school, Lainey. You’re an adult. And Cass doesn’t have to choose between the two of you. You’re not going to lose Cass.

Cass stands up. “Well, we should probably get back to our game.”

My gaze slides to Ben, and the breath slams out of my lungs when I catch him looking at me. Maybe I should have gone to Barnaby’s with him last night, but I was worried it would be too awkward without Cass and Duncan there. Especially after he took off after we slept together. Tonight, though, has been horribly awkward anyway.

And a bit painful, if I’m honest.

“You know, I’m pretty beat,” I say to Cass when he turns away. “I might actually head home.”

Cass looks over to where Ben is still talking to the blonde before turning back to me and nodding. She probably thinks I want to leave because of Ben. He’s a large part of the reason why I want to go, but not all of it. Tonight has sucked so far, and I think it will get worse if I stay any longer. The loneliness that wrapped around me earlier is still there. It’s a sensation I can handle, but not when I’m around my friends. I shouldn’t feel lonely around them, yet tonight I feel unimportant and unneeded—a feeling I hope will pass once I’ve had time to get over my jealousy and process everything Cass said to me. Preferably with a large drink of wine in my hands.

“Are you going to say goodbye?” Cass asks.

I shake my head. If I interrupt Ben, Duncan, and Seb, they’ll ask why I’m leaving, and I don’t know how to verbalise the reasons right now.

“Can you say goodbye for me?”

Cass looks surprised, but she nods anyway. “Are you going to drive?”

“I’ve had too much to drink. I’ll call a taxi.” I could Uber home, but I don’t want to have to make small talk with a stranger tonight.

Once I finish making the call, I stand up and wave goodbye to Rob.

“Heading off so soon?” he asks.

“I’m tired. I’ve called a taxi.”

“You could be waiting a while. Why don’t you go back to your game, and I’ll shout out when they rock up,” Rob suggests.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll wait outside.”

“I’ll wait with her,” Cass says to Rob when he looks set to argue.

Cass and I move away from the bar and start walking towards the door. Before we exit, I stop. “I need some air, and I don’t mind being alone. Hopefully the cab won’t be too long.”

Surprise and hurt flicker in Cass’s eyes. “You’re not leaving because of Ben, are you? This is about me inviting Amber to my birthday.”

“I’m fine. I just need some time to deal with... everything.”

“Lainey, I won’t invite—”

“It’s fine. We’re good,” I promise her, giving her a hug. “Go back to Duncan and the boys, and enjoy the rest of your night, okay?”

“Text me as soon as you get home,” Cass commands.

“I will. Talk to you soon.”

And with that, I push open the doors of The Golden Roo and walk out into the cool night air. Wrapping my arms around my torso, I tell myself that the quiet outside is exactly what I want and need. The loneliness is bearable and to be expected now that I’m alone.

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