Page 33 of Let Me Be the One

I don’t get another turn. Lainey sinks all her balls in the next few shots, letting out a whoop when she sinks the black ball at the right time and wins the game.

“I am awesome!” she shouts.

“Modest, too,” I retort.

“Hey, there are two things I’m moderately good at, playing pool and writing. That means I don’t get many bragging rights.” She’s standing right in front of me now, her finger tapping my chest as she looks at me playfully. “Don’t try to take them away from me, okay?”

She looks so happy that I decide to skip the lecture on the importance of humility and just agree with her. Besides, she’s too close to me right now, and the soft floral essence she’s wearing is stirring up more X-rated thoughts.

“I think you owe me the chance to redeem myself,” I say, stepping back. “Let’s play again.”

She bites her lower lip and tries to look like she’s seriously contemplating it. “Hmm, I guess I can give you one more chance.”

She’s halfway through setting up the second game when she’s distracted by the sight of Duncan and Cass making out. It’s only because I’m watching her in that second that I see the pain whip across her features. After a moment, she turns back to our table to finish setting up the game.

I never asked her if she was okay. This announcement that Duncan and Cass made tonight has to be just as hard on her as it is on me; she’s still getting over her break-up with Lucas. And yet I haven’t asked her how she feels about Cass and Duncan being in a relationship. I’ve been so focused on my anger that I’ve forgotten to look out for my friend.

“Are you okay?” I ask, moving closer to her again and doing my best to ignore the sweet scent of her perfume.

She gives me a sad smile. “I was going to talk to you about that.”

“You were? I know I should have asked you earlier, but Duncan said you’re happy for the two of them and I just took him at his word.”

“I am happy for the two of them. Cass is happy, and I’m happy for her.”

“But...?”

“I realised something earlier. Before you and Seb arrived, I was watching Cass and Duncan together and...” She takes a deep breath. “I realised no one has ever looked at me the way Duncan looks at Cass.”

The hurt and sorrow in her voice hits me square in the gut and I don’t know how to respond exactly. Also, I find it kind of surprising no one has ever looked at Lainey that way.

“Obviously, Lucas didn’t because he was never in love with me,” she continues, her voice wavering. “But none of the guys I dated before him looked at me like that, either. I don’t think any of my previous boyfriends have ever been in love with me.”

For a romantic like Lainey, I can only imagine what that thought is doing to her.

“Then they’re all idiots.”

She laughs a little, but I can hear the sadness behind it. “I bent over backwards for all of them, Ben. Not just Lucas. I did all the things they wanted me to. I tried so damn hard with every one of them. In the end, none of them loved me for it. Not Lucas, not any of them.”

The rejection is written all over her face, and it bothers me so much that I find myself leaning my pool cue against the table and putting my hands on her shoulders. It feels strange being this close to her, staring down into her face as I stroke her shoulders with my thumbs. I prefer to stay out of people’s space and have them stay out of mine. But I need to touch Lainey right now. I have to comfort her.

“But I’m done with that,” she continues. “At least, I want to be done with it. I don’t want to go into my next relationship obsessing over pleasing the guy I’m with and hoping it’s enough for him—that I’m enough for him. I’m trying to take a page out of your book and stop caring so much what people think. What men think. But it’s not easy. I think I might need some help—someone to keep me on task.”

A smile tugs at my lips. “You want me to teach you how to be a selfish arsehole.”

She laughs. “I don’t want to be a selfish arsehole. I just want to... think about myself first for once. I want to emulate your carefree attitude.”

“Then listen to me, Lainey.” I pull her even closer, our gazes holding. “You need to forget about those clowns you’ve dated in the past. They’re not worth another thought. And you need to do what you want and make yourself happy. Be a lone wolf like me and put yourself first. And if a guy comes along after you’re over Lucas, and he gets you and appreciates you, and looks at you the way you want him to, then maybe—maybe—you give him a chance. But only if he pleases you. Only if he deserves you. Until then, you have Cass and you have me.” I gesture to Seb and Duncan. “You have all of us. You’re not alone.”

She studies me intensely for a moment, blinking those big green eyes at me, and then she smiles. “Thanks, Teach.”

“You’re welcome.”

I actually want to hug her, wrap my arms around her and hold her against me. The only thing stopping me from giving in to the insanely strong urge is the knowledge that hugging her will probably feel far too good. So, I squeeze her shoulders gently and let her go. She walks away from me, taunting me about kicking my butt at pool last game and that she’s going to do it again.

Seeing Lainey happier than she was a moment ago makes me feel lighter. Having her around makes me feel better, and I make her feel better, too. I never feel like a hopeless loser around Lainey. Instead, I feel... important to her.

It might be the first time in my life anyone’s made me feel that way.

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