Page 12 of Let Me Be the One

“I sent you a text asking if you wanted to catch up some time a couple of months back, but I never got a response. And then I sent you one again today. You ignored me. Again.”

“Listen, Lainey, honey, he’s not interested.” Crazy Hair’s tone implies she thinks I’m a little child who needs help understanding something incredibly simple. “He’s coming home with me tonight. So thanks for stopping by; it’s been fun, but you can go now.”

I think I just got dismissed. Great. I meet Ben’s eyes once more. “I guess this is goodbye, then?”

“I never got your texts.”

His statement is so unexpected that it takes me a moment to compute what he just said. “You didn’t?”

“My phone was smashed at work a couple of months back and I got a new phone and a new number.”

“So, you didn’t ignore me?”

My tone is hopeful, and Crazy Hair is now looking at me as if she’s ready to break her vodka bottle and stab me with the pieces. She has the wrong idea about why I’m here talking to Ben, but I’m too busy performing a mental happy dance over Ben’s reason for not messaging me back to care.

Of course, it doesn’t change the fact he ignored me this evening and never gave me his new number, but maybe there’s a reason for all of that, too.

Ben shakes his head, as if he’s trying to make sense of our exchange. “So, you wanted to catch up?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He looks at Crazy Hair and then back at me. “I’m fine, Lainey.”

His body language is defensive and he’s glaring at me again. I guess he’s concerned our conversation may raise unwanted questions from his companion. Asking him if he’s okay in front of the girl he’s trying to take to bed tonight probably isn’t cool of me, but I’m not convinced he’s telling the truth about being fine. He looks scruffy and tired, and maybe I’m just imagining it, but I swear he flinched and pain flashed across his face when I subtly brought up Amber.

What if he’s not okay? What if he hasn’t moved on? What if he’s trying to bury his pain under a giant pile of one-night stands?

How else do I communicate to him that it’s okay he might not have moved on other than by baring my soul to him and letting him know I haven’t moved on either?

“I’m glad you’re okay,” I tell him. “But I’m not. I haven’t been okay since that night. I haven’t really left the house in the past few months, other than to go to work. My editor hates the book I wrote. They might cancel my contract. I spend the majority of my days off in bed even though I barely sleep. I think I’m depressed. I need... someone to talk to.”

“You have your friends,” Ben reminds me, nodding in the direction of the cast.

I give him a weak smile. “There’s Cass, yes, but she’s telling me I should be over it. Maybe she’s right, but I’m not over it yet.”

Crazy Hair makes a noise of irritation. For a moment, I forgot she was listening to us. “I’m so ready to get out of here, Ben. Aren’t you?”

I’m guessing her question is supposed to sound sultry, but she sounds whiny. Ben’s gaze slides to his companion and I hold my breath as I wait to see what he says to her.

“Actually, I might stick around and have another drink.”

“With her?” she asks incredulously, nodding in my direction.

I might feel insulted if I didn’t feel kind of bad for her. Do women get blue balls? From the way she’s looking at me, I suspect that may be the case.

Ben turns his attention back to me. “Do you want to stay and have a drink with me, Lainey?”

As bad as I feel, I’m not willing to pass up this opportunity to talk to Ben. “Yes, please.”

“With Lainey, yeah,” he says to Crazy Hair.

She huffs and pushes back from the bar. “Your loss,” she spits out, giving me a terrifying scowl as she walks away.

It isn’t terrifying enough to stop me from taking her place next to Ben, though.

Ben just looks at me, eyebrows raised.

“What?” I ask.

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