Page 109 of Let Me Be the One

“Can you give me a few minutes?” I ask Ben.

He looks at Rob and then back at me. “It can’t wait.”

“Really?”

He gives me a sheepish sort of grin. “I need to know you’re okay.”

“Are you serious?”

Is that the only reason he came over here to talk to me? To make sure I’m coping without him? And why is he grinning like an idiot?

“I’m fine,” I tell him, confused over why he looks so happy. Is he pleased because I’m with another man and he thinks I’m moving on?

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he says. “But I’m not. I haven’t been okay since Cass’s party. I haven’t really left the house, other than to go to work. I quit my job at Eagle Eye Security, but I have no one to celebrate with. I think I’m depressed. I need someone to talk to.”

I smile a small smile, realising he’s re-enacting the first conversation we ever had at Barnaby’s. I can’t believe he remembers that.

“You have your friends,” I remind him, going along with the re-enactment. I motion to Seb and Duncan, who aren’t even bothering to pretend they’re not watching us.

“I have Seb and Duncan, but both of them tell me I’m an idiot for screwing up, and I agree with them. I want to put things right between us.”

My smile falters as I realise he’s here to talk to me because he wants our friendship back. I want it back, too. But I can’t right now. “I told you, I just need a little time.”

“So, I’m going to head off, Lainey,” Rob says, reminding me he’s still there. “It was good to see you, Ben.”

“Wait,” I say to Rob.

“It’s fine,” Rob says, eyes locking with mine. “Call me if things change.”

Then he leans in and kisses me on the forehead before walking out.

I still feel like I should chase after him and walk him out to his car or something, but Ben slides straight into his place and locks me there with his presence. Even though I want to say goodbye properly to Rob, I can’t move because my body is finally where it wants to be, even if my heart knows that being this close to the flame that burnt it is a damn stupid move.

I push the hair that I spent forever curling tonight out of my face so that I can glare at Ben better.

“You do realise you just cock-blocked me?”

He looks thrilled. “I’m sorry.”

“You are not.”

“You’re right, I’m not. But I did say I needed to talk to you.”

“You want to make sure I’m okay, and I am.”

Of course, I miss him so much that it kills me a little every day, but I’m surviving.

“Really?”

He suddenly looks unsure. Our re-enactment is done, and we have no script from here. We aren’t friends anymore, but we can’t avoid each other, either. Not with Cass and Duncan dating. This feels so awkward, where conversation between us has always flowed. I guess this is my cue to leave. I can’t stick around to watch Ben pick up. But my ride just walked out the door, and I’ve missed Ben so much that I can’t resist finding out how his week has been.

“You finished up at Eagle Eye yesterday. I bet you’re glad.”

“I can’t be happy about anything right now, Lainey. Ever since you ended things between us, I’ve been... lost.”

I can see the truth behind his words. I saw it a week ago, when he was at my house. I feel his pain; I even want to comfort him, but I can’t.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

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