Page 116 of My Debacle with De Lorenzo

His eyes widen, and he gapes at me. “Are you kidding? Yousleptwith Tommy and he’s your best friend. I don’t kick up a fuss about that.”

“That’s different. I was never in love with Tommy. We never dated. You and Francesca were forced to break up. It’s not something either of you wanted. The two of you share something that you and I don’t. She knows what happens. She knows where you go when you disappear, and she knowswhyyou disappear, doesn’t she?”

He’s becoming increasingly annoyed. “Yeah, she knows, but not because I told her. Her parents and my parents have been friends since college. We were in and out of each other’s houses all the time, so yeah, she knows.”

“Is that where you go when you disappear? To her house?”

His jaw clenches. “I’ve already answered this question. I’m not with Fran. I’m not with anyone. I cut off contact witheveryonebecause I want to be alone. Solo. By myself. Now, can you please stop with the questions? I don’t understand why you keep obsessing about Fran.”

“How can you not understand? Everything between you and me only exists because she doesn’t live close enough. If you didn’t move here, you’d still be with her.”

“But I did move here...and I met you...and I fell in lovewith you.”

One second – just one – to swoon over the way he sayswichuand then I go back to being upset and insecure. “I still don’t like it. What if...what if I asked you to stop talking to her, just cut off all ties? What would you do?”

He crosses his arms, rubbing his hand over his jaw. “I would say...you’re being completely irrational and insecure for no reason. I would say that what you’re asking me to do is crazy, and it doesn’t make any sense. She’s been my best friend since we were kids, and it would totally gut me to do that.” He sighs heavily. “And then after I told you all that...I would call her up and tell her I can’t speak to her anymore.”

I stare at him for a long time. “You would do that for me? You’d give up a lifelong friendship for some random person you’ve been having a fling with for six months?”

He cringes but remains calm. “You’re not a random person. And yeah, I would do that for you if you asked...Is that what you’re asking me to do?”

I give it a moment’s thought. “Yes.”

Even though I can see the hurt in his eyes, he nods and picks up his phone again. “Youarebeing irrational and insecure for no reason. I just want you to know that.”

He scrolls through his contact list and taps on her name. It rings three times before I snatch it out of his hand and disconnect the call.

Confusion creases his eyebrows. “What are you doin’?”

Another small heart flutter over the worddoin’before I continue. “I don’t want you to end your friendship with her. I just wanted to see if you’d really choose me.”

“You are so fucked up in the head.” With an irritable groan, he stands up to pull me into his arms. “You don’t have to test me, Bella. I mean what I say. Your brain does this messed up thing where it strings together these unrelated events and turns them into a convoluted conspiracy, when on the surface, it’s simple and those things should stay unrelated. The fact that Fran knows why I disappear is in no way related to the reason why you don’t. The fact that you and I are together is in no way related to the fact that Fran and I are not. I told you before. If I still wanted to be with her, I would. So, please stop obsessing about this, okay?”

“Okay.”

He gives me a tight hug, then slaps my ass before he sits down again. “Give me ten minutes to finish this up and then we can go for a swim.”

“Sure, I’ll meet you downstairs.”

I leave his room feeling a lot more settled than I did ten minutes ago. I know I should stop obsessing about this, but it’s difficult because she’s so...perfect and she’s got everything going for her, and I guess a part of me wonders why he wouldn’t want someone who is so put together instead of someone like me who has no direction. I smile to myself. Well, now I have one. As the memories of what he did for me today float through my mind, I realize that I’m being silly. He’s right. I shouldn’t obsess over this.

I walk down to the pool area. Dylan’s house is the ultimate hangout spot. Even Scott and Peter leave their mansions to come over almost every weekend because there are just nice vibes here. The entertainment room overlooks a covered patio and crystal-clear pool. I grab a clean towel from the closet beside the bar, then open the sliding door that leads outside. I shrug off my denim jacket, leaving me in a white tank top and a blue and peach ruffle skirt. Crossing the wooden deck, I lay my towel closer to the shallow end before sitting down and dipping my feet in.

I lightly kick, taking in the tranquility. My mind drifts as I listen to the breeze rustling the leaves, and for the millionth time, I think about what I want to do with my life and who I want to be. My thoughts are shattered when Dylan comes barreling across the patio and cannonballs into the pool. The high splash drenches my hair and soaks through my top, my pink bra now clearly visible.

“I was trying not to get wet,” I say wryly when he comes up for air. “You have no respect for curly hair.”

“You should come in. The water’s great.”

“I didn’t bring my swimsuit today.”

He swims to the side directly across from me and rests his head on the edge, his brown hair wet and tousled. “You were so deep in thought when I got here. What were you thinking about?”

“Just thinking about life.”

“Ooh, that’s really deep.”

“Life is deep.” I smile. “What if you had to wake up one day and realize you’re living a lie? Would you rather it be that you found out you were inThe Matrixor inThe Truman Show?”

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