Page 16 of My Debacle with De Lorenzo

“It’s stiff and uncomfortable, but I’m okay.”

She sits down on the chair next to Cat. “I spoke to my boss today and she arranged for us to pay the medical bills over extended payment terms with no interest, so...” I see her shoulders slump as the overwhelming burden presses down on her. She shuts her eyes and rubs her temples, trying to blink back tears again. “Hopefully, that will help until we can get back on our feet.”

“I’m sorry, mom.”

My mother kisses her forehead. “It’s not your fault. I just wish the boy who did this to you could see how much suffering he’s caused. Physically, emotionally...financially.”

Cat lets out an irritated humph. “Mom, Scott is an arrogant, self-absorbed douche. Even if he knew, he wouldn’t care.”

“But look at the mess he’s left us with, and we can do nothing because his mother will bury us in legal fees. That’s what she told me when she called after the accident.”

“We’ll find a way to get through this, ma.”

They carry on talking about how we could structure our finances until Cat’s arm heals, but I don’t care too much for the conversation and head upstairs to my bedroom. My mother will probably start crying and I can’t take seeing her all torn down and defeated. I check my phone and there are four messages from Steven.

Steven:Hey!!! WYD Tonight?

Steven:Wanna Hang Out?

Steven:I’ll Come Pick You Up.

And because I didn’t respond, forty-five minutes later, he sent another message.

Steven:I Miss You Baby!!!

Now, I may act dumb, but I’m not stupid. I know he sent the last message because he thinks if he lies to me and emotionally manipulates me, I’ll have sex with him again. That’s all he wants, and I know this. If I leave it for an hour or so, he’ll start begging like he did the last time, and that’s when I’ll cave, because that’s the manipulation I fall for.

I want to be wanted and Steven is so over-eager, his enthusiasm allows room for me to delude myself. For just a few short-lived moments, I can believe that I actually mean something to him. He’ll tell me I’m beautiful. He’ll tell me that no other girl has ever made him feel this way before. He’ll kiss me and caress me and make me feel like he’s never wanted anyone more. He’ll have his way with me, then he’ll drop me off at home and go back to his girlfriend, the girl he really loves.

I know all this, yet I’m still going to text back because I want those few short moments. I crave them. I enjoy feeding into the delusion. It’s a break from my pathetic existence. After an hour, the begging starts, and I text him back.

Me:My mom goes to bed at 10. Pick me up at 10:30. I’ll sneak out

Me:Bring vodka.

If I’m not going to get an orgasm, I might as well get something out of it. At ten-thirty, I see the lights of his car outside and slowly creep to the front door.

“Isa, where are you going?” Cat whispers behind me.

“Out. I’ll be back in an hour.”

“I know you’re going off with some boy. You can’t keep doing this. It’s dangerous.”

I hold back a humph of annoyance. “Stop worrying about me. I can take care of myself. Now, go back to bed. You need your rest.”

She’s still whispering her protests when I sneak outside. I get into his mother’s minivan and the appreciative smile that curves on his lips as his eyes trail down my body lets me know that we’re probably going to pull off somewhere and get straight to it. I’ll definitely be home in less than an hour.

“Did you bring the vodka?” I ask.

“I sure did. You’re a girl who knows how to party.”

I fake a smile. “Let’s start this night off right. Pass me the bottle.”

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