“Morning. I need to get ready really quick, and then I’ll be back.” I didn’t want to be rude, but I couldn’t chance to miss this appointment when the director was nice enough to get me back on the list for visits.
I got showered, dressed, and was lacing my shoes when there was a knock on the door. Emberlynn must’ve gotten it because I heard voices moments later.
I brushed my hair quickly and then exited the room to hear them discussing the exercises I’d been doing.
“Hey, that was quick.” Emberlynn smiled.
“Military mornings. Sometimes you only had a moment or two before you were on to something else. Had to make sure that you were ready for anything.”
“Want to tell me what happened?” the physical therapist asked.
I looked at Emberlynn, and she nodded before getting up and going back into the kitchen.
I told the story, and when I was done, the nurse flipped through my chart that she had.
“I have a few exercises that I want to try so we can see what your range is. Where do you normally do them?”
I motioned to the space on the floor.
“That’s perfect.”
I grabbed the blanket I used, and she placed her mat on top, giving me more stability. We stretched and worked out my muscles for almost two hours before I rested. Just as we were finished up, the head doc knocked on the door. Emberlynn let her in and showed her where I was. She brought me a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast. Then she handed me a cup of coffee.
Grateful, I took everything from her and began eating while the therapist got settled. She insisted that I finish my food to focus fully on our session.
Initially, we discussed my day-to-day life, and then she asked me one question to which I thought I knew the answer.
“Why are you in therapy?”
My answer wasn’t sufficient. “Because I have PTSD.” What other reason would I?
“Try again.”
“Because I want it to go away.” I shrugged.
“No. Try again.” She spoke calmly, reminding me of the natural wisdom one developed as one ages.
Her salt and pepper hair didn’t tell me her age, just that she’d probably earned every strand she had. Her eyes twinkled with an all-knowing look that made me wonder why she was asking the question. What intel did she already have?
I sighed, feeling like all my answers were going to be wrong. “So I can stop having these damn nightmares.”
“Sounds like you want to control your episodes. Tell me about the dreams,” she insisted as Emberlynn walked out of her room wearing walking gear. She was moving her head to the sound of something only she could hear with headphones.
“Last night, it was the same one I keep having. Reliving the accident on repeat. It all seems so real, like I’m back there. The explosive pain in my leg, the burning fire on my face from the gash, and the weakness I felt as it all unleashed. My brothers tell me that I was lucky I fell on my face. It saved my life. If it had been the back of my head, I would’ve died. And if I would have remained standing, that shot would have hit me in my chest.”
“Did anyone else get injured?”
“Yes. Men died too. I was lucky, I guess—the only one who made it out of that ambush. The rescue team saved me. Without them, I’d be a dead man.”
“How do you feel about that?” She clasped her hands in front of her, patiently waiting like she knew I’d struggle. I wouldn’t with this question.
“Like I’m supposed to do something more than just limp around here and have bad dreams. There was a reason I made it out, and they didn’t. But those shots, the damage it created, was bigger than the physical scars.” I swallowed and took a sip from my coffee while bouncing my knee. “Me and my wife were finalizing our divorce when it happened. She didn’t even seem to care. We didn’t have any children or anything, and I know that my job was tough on her, but I figured she’d care a little. It was like a stranger had taken over her.”
“What about your family?”
“I screwed up the generational legacy. I didn’t retire. An injury pulled me out of the military. It took everything I had in split second. My career crumbled, leaving me to figure out the pieces.”
“Who is Emberlynn, again?”