Page 82 of Ruby Mercy

I look at Rayne, and the pallor on her face tells me she knows I’ve figured it out.

It all clicks into place. The way she didn’t want me to drop by her house. When Rayne called Natalia to pick up a “package” for her. All the clues were there in front of my face. I just never tried to piece them together.

“Your name sounds like krill,” Yuliana informs me matter-of-factly.

I blink and look down at her. At my kid. The shock is making it hard to process anything. “What?”

“Krill,” she repeats. “The things whales eat. Your name sounds like that.”

“That’s not nice, Yuli.” Rayne nudges her daughter—ourdaughter—in the arm. “Apologize.”

She pouts out her lower lip. “Sorry.”

I shake my head. “It’s fine. It’s—” Another shake. “Do you two need a ride?”

Rayne starts to refuse, but I fix her with a heavy look. If she thinks I’m letting her walk away from me without a lengthy explanation, she’s insane.

Her shoulders sag. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks.”

We walk to my car, and I keep turning around to make sure Yuliana is still behind me. She appeared so suddenly I feel like she might wink out of existence between one second and the other.

Even in the car, I glance in the rearview mirror to make sure she and Rayne are still strapped into the backseat.

I trace the lines of her face in the mirror, memorizing every bit of her. This is the first time I’ve laid eyes on this little girl, but I feel like I’ve seen her before.

In some ways, I have.

She looks like Ilya.

When my mother sat me down at six to tell me she was pregnant, I was ecstatic. I wanted a little sibling more than anything. Then Ilya was born, and he just laid around. He didn’t know how to throw a ball. He didn’t laugh at the shows I watched on TV. He was useless.

“He’s a lot younger than you,” she said when I complained to her. “You’ll have to teach him how to do all the things you like to do.”

“He’s growing up. He’ll be big one day,” I told her with the kind of confidence only a little boy can have.

She nodded. “Sure. He’ll be big. But you’ll always be bigger. That’s what being a big brother is like.”

“He’ll always be littler than me?”

“For a long time, yes.” She pulled me towards her and kissed my forehead. “That’s why you have to promise me you’ll always take care of him.”

Ilya was little more than a bundle of blankets at that point, his green eyes blinking out at me every so often. When my mother said that, though, I felt a rush I’d never felt before. A purpose.

I was only six years old, but I nodded solemnly. “I’ll always take care of him.”

I blink back to reality. Yuliana is sitting behind me, her feet dangling over the seat while she stares out the window.

I failed Ilya, but life is giving me another chance.

I won’t fail again.

30

KIRILL

Rayne’s house is appallingly tiny. If she hadn’t pointed it out twice as I drove down the street, I would have missed it.

The square bungalow is tucked between a set of two-story homes on either side. They tower over her little lot, blocking out the sun. Still, it’s obvious she’s tried her best to make the rental nice. There’s a rock garden with a few drought-resistant plants spotted throughout. It won’t win any landscaping awards, but it’s something. Certainly more effort than her neighbors are putting in.

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