Page 108 of Ruby Mercy

I lean over so my voice is nothing more than a rumble in her ear. So I can see the goosebumps spring up along her neck and disappear beneath the collar of her sweater. “Like you dying from wanting me. That matters. It would be a tragic loss. Especially when the remedy is readily available.”

Rayne glances over at me, her eyes landing momentarily on my crotch. She could be mistaken for a stop sign right now, as red as she is.

“That confession was coerced.”

“What about you arching off the bed as you screamed my name? Was that coerced, too?”

She speaks between gritted teeth. “If you’re asking for a performance review, I can be honest. You’re good in bed, Kirill. Great, even. The best I’ve ever had. Is that what you want to know?”

I lean back on the bench, my legs stretched long and crossed at the ankles. “We could have picnics at the park.”

Rayne turns to me so quickly I’m surprised she doesn’t slide off the bench. “What?”

“I make a mean sandwich, actually,” I continue. “We could bring a basket with food and eat while Yuliana plays. Or maybe we can sign her up for soccer. You’ll be the soccer mom all the dads want to fuck.”

“Kirill, what are you talking about?”

“Movie nights on Saturday with popcorn and candy. I’ll build a treehouse in her bedroom. String lights and gauzy drapes, the works.”

When I look over, Rayne is staring at me with eyes the same size and color as the sky. I’ve never seen her so bowled over before.

“What I want to know,” I continue with a low voice, “is whether that sounds like the kind of life you’ve always dreamed of.”

Rayne’s throat bobs as she swallows. Her blue eyes turn glassy and unfocused.

And there it is.

The truth.

I nod in satisfaction. “You see the same picture I do, Rayne. You’re not a stupid woman. You know that this makes sense. You and me and Yuliana. Stop running from it.”

Suddenly, Rayne shoves off of the bench and stands up. “We have to go.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Actually,” she snaps, spinning around to face me, “I do. I have to go meet with my dad.”

“You’re staying at his house; you don’t need to go meet him. What you’re doing is running away because you know I’m right. You’re being stubborn as usual.”

She shakes her head like she’s trying to bat my words out of the air. “Believe it or not, this has nothing to do with you, Kirill. It’s time for us to go.”

She marches towards the playground, her fists clenched tightly at our sides.

I let her go. Rayne can run as far as she likes.

She’ll never get far enough.

39

RAYNE

The restaurant is more crowded than I hoped it would be. It’s not especially busy, just a few older couples lounging around a table near the windows and some bleary-eyed students sucking down coffee as they hunch over their laptops in the center of the room.

But there are more people here than I’d invite to a family therapy session. That’s what this is, after all.

My dad and Pat are so close to the front doors, I almost miss them in my initial scan of the restaurant. I take the five steps closer to their table and stop.

I look around at the ten closest empty tables. “Is this where you want to sit?”

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