Page 104 of Ruby Mercy

I want a family unit I can call my own.

I want someone to take care of me when I’m sick and pick Yuliana up from school. Someone to make me feel safe and loved. Someone who will look at me like I’m special, like I matter. Someone who will put me first no matter what.

But I don’t just want someone.

I want him.

The truth is a ball of heat in my core, growing in intensity with every passing second. Even if I wanted to keep it inside, I’m not sure I could. It will burn through me, obliterating everything in its path if I don’t let it go.

“Rayne,” Kirill breathes. His voice sounds like a plea. He needs this, too. As much as I do.

“This is different because—” I strain for release, praying somehow I can get there on my own. That maybe this limited version of his touch will be enough to get me there. When it’s clear that won’t work, I give in to defeat. “This is different because it’s you, Kirill. You and me. Because touching you could never be meaningless. It’s complicated and incredible and everything I’ve always wanted—now, yesterday, five years ago. I want you so much I might die from wanting if you don’t give me what I’m craving. It’s different because… because I love you.”

In one stroke, he fills me. My words are lost to a scream that echoes off the water-stained ceiling.

“Good girl,” he growls.

Then the talking stops. Kirill pounds into me again and again until we’re both panting and writhing for release.

When the orgasm finally comes, I’m helpless against the onslaught.

My body clenches around his hot length, and I wrap myself around him, too. I want to hold him against me and let this feeling last forever. But after only a few pulses, I feel Kirill go rigid. His thrusts become purposeful and then he’s twitching his ecstasy inside of me, the two of us riding the rollercoaster all the way to the bottom.

When it’s over, Kirill slides out of me and pads into the bathroom. No cuddling, no conversation. The vulnerability that faded with my pleasure comes back with a vengeance.

I’m reaching for the rough comforter to cover myself in a sort of heated embarrassment when he comes back into the room with a wet washcloth and a towel.

Wordless, Kirill cleans me. He swipes the cloth over my center and my thighs like it’s something he has done a thousand times before. I’m too stunned to argue. I just watch his muscles bunch and release as he works.

I love him.The thought sits inside of me like a suspicious package. If I pull the strings and release it, will this moment explode? Uncertainty has me pressing my mouth together to keep those words inside.

Kirill turns around and digs through my suitcase. He helps me into a clean pair of underwear and my favorite matching set of gray sweats. When he’s done, he puts on his own clothes and sits on the bed next to me.

We’ve been quiet for so long that I jump when he finally speaks.

“I want to meet Yuliana.”

I blink, trying to make sense of his words. “You already met her.”

“Properly,” he says. “Tomorrow. I want to… take her to a park. I want to play with her and get to know her.”

Was this his plan the entire time? To fuck me senseless so I’d agree to let him meet his daughter? My sex-fueled admission feels even more ridiculous now. He manipulated me. He convinced me to make myself weak before him so he could pounce and get what he wanted.

Or… maybe… not.

Again, uncertainty bites my tongue.

“This isn’t about the two of us,” he continues. “Not anymore. It’s about Yuliana. Me and my daughter.”

God, I hate that he’s right.

I cross my arms over my chest and nod. “Okay.”

He reaches over and gently turns me to face him. Before I realize what’s happening, Kirill brushes his lips over mine. It’s a whisper of a kiss, but desire flames to life inside of me. I press further into him, ready to sacrifice myself at his altar all over again.

Then he pulls away. He grabs his keys off the dresser and heads for the door. “Turn your phone back on. I’ll text you where to meet.”

Before I can agree, he steps into the hallway and closes the door behind him. Gone as suddenly as he appeared.

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