Page 117 of A Journey For Jasmine

“Noelle’s brother. Her family wasn’t happy with the lawsuit. I knew that. I wasn’t thrilled with it either.”

“You’ve told me before,” she said. “Not about Noelle’s family so much though, but how you felt about it.”

“I can’t keep bringing up the past. It’s done and over with and I can’t go back and change anything.”

“Your mother blames herself for it going on so long,” she said.

“She does. I can’t tell her not to. There were times I blamed her too. That’s not what this is about though, is it?”

“No. I get that people have their own perspectives on events. Grief makes it harder. But it’s the final thing he said. That this marina was Noelle’s dream? That you had been to Mystic on vacation before and never told me. Why? Is it true?”

“Yes, I’d been here before. Years ago, Noelle and I came here with friends. Her friend’s parents had a boat at the marina. We went out on it. She never wanted to own a marina. Her brother was saying what he wanted to believe. But she did love it here. She talked about wanting to come back for years. She made comments about how much fun it’d be to have weddings in Mystic. Parties.”

“This isn’t making me feel any better,” Jasmine said, the tears starting to fall. “You told me that you could love two people. That you had moved past Noelle. That you weren’t trying to bring her back. You weren’t still looking at her picture and wishing for her.”

Jasmine’s tears were killing him. “Everything I told you is the truth,” he said. “I’m not sure how to get you to believe me, but it is.”

“I don’t know what to believe. I just don’t understand why you couldn’t tell me you’d been here before. It doesn’t seem like a coincidence that you bought this marina when you were ready to try to move forward with your life.”

“Jasmine. I was struggling with my life. Getting up each day. Putting one foot in front of the other. You know I still had my wedding band on until I moved here. One night I was looking through old pictures. I just needed to see us from a happier time in our life. That’s not wrong and doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

“I didn’t say that,” she said. “I understand all of that. I might be the same way. But I feel you lied to me when we’ve talked about why or how you ended up here. That is a big thing to me.”

“I found pictures of our vacation. I pulled my computer out and started to look at real estate. I thought, maybe it’d be nice to get a vacation home. That is where my mind was at.”

“And you saw the marina was for sale?” she asked.

“Yes. I called my mother. She’d been the one saying we needed to do something with our lives. That we needed to leave Tampa and put it behind us. There was no set plan for anything. I told her about the marina. She’d talked about how fun it’d be to be a wedding planner. Or host parties. Own a restaurant. She loved those things. One thing led to another.”

“That all makes sense,” she said. “I just can’t understand why you couldn’t tell me any of that before now though.”

He sighed. “Because I worried you thought I couldn’t handle being in a relationship. That I was fragile or would crack. I’d just realized how strong I was. That I could figure this out on my own and could move on. I’d found you. Something with you I never thought I’d have again. Or feel.”

“And you thought I wouldn’t understand any of this?”

“It’s not that as much as the reason I might have bought this place wasn’t the truth. Everything I told you. One day I told my mother I did this for Noelle. And my mother laughed at me and said, ‘You didn’t do this for Noelle. You did this because she would have wanted you happy and making this move is what you need to get there.’ Words to that effect. When I’d heard it, I knew she was right. Then the reason I bought this place didn’t seem to matter much to me. She said this to me before you and I got close. It’s part of the reason I didn’t bring it up.”

“Can’t you see this from my standpoint?” she asked.

“I can. I’m sorry. I would never hurt you. Ever. It’s killing me to not push you to move in with me when I want you here. I feel like I’m trying to be so careful around you because I know you had so little control over your life and need it now. I don’t want to be that person that made you feel you weren’t given a choice to decide your life even if it means holding back what I want.”

“You get that,” she said, sniffling. “No one else has ever.”

He moved closer to her on the couch. “I do. I hope you believe what I’m saying. Maybe I should have told you earlier, but it didn’t seem to matter to me anymore. I’m not battling a ghost. I know you thought that earlier on but didn’t want to say it, right?”

“I did,” she said.

“And it hurt even more when you saw Noelle’s picture. I think there was no way I could have brought it up without having hurt feelings. More so when there is no reason to feel that way. I just wanted to spare you.”

“You never thought I’d find out?” she asked.

“No. My mother wouldn’t have said anything because deep down she didn’t believe I did it for Noelle. It took her saying that to me to see it myself.”

“Is there anything else I need to know?” she asked. “I feel like we talked so much about ourselves. I’ve held so little back from you, but you never talk much about Noelle and I haven’t wanted to push.”

“Because you thought I’d break,” he said. “Right?”

“No. I didn’t want to be jealous,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

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