Page 18 of A Love Like That

“And I don’t want to go to space camp.”

I sat on his bed and gave him a minute to process his feelings. When he seemed a little calmer, I asked, “Is this about what Mimi said? About your mom?”

“No. I just—” He huffed. “I think it’s dumb. Space is stupid.”

“What?” I bugged out my eyes, trying to make him laugh with how ridiculous I looked. “You mean you don’t want to know what it would be like to float?”

He lifted a shoulder but said nothing.

“What about pooping? Surely you want to see what it’s like to poop in space.”

“Ellie!” He giggled.

“What? I mean, I want to know. Does it float? Does it stay in the suit? What do they do?”

He laughed some more then said in a very serious tone, “We’re not supposed to say ‘poop’ at school.”

I covered my mouth, my eyes really wide. “Oops!” I lifted my hand, cupping the side of my mouth. “Can I say fart?”

“No!” He laughed some more, and I was trying not to laugh myself.

“Doo-doo?”

“No!” He jumped on the bed, laughing as he said, “No potty words.”

“What about—”

He hopped down and covered my mouth with his hands. “I mean it, Ellie.” He shook his head, his expression grave. “Don’t do it. You’ll have to go to the thinking spot.”

“Oh no.” I widened my eyes. “Not. The. Thinking. Spot!” I knew it was really just a chair where the kids had to go to calm down. But being a rule follower like his mom, Maddox probably thought it was the worst thing ever.

As a kid, I’d spent a fair amount of time in the thinking spot. It was honestly kind of nice. Quiet.

“I’m never going to see her again, am I?” He plopped down on the mattress next to me, the brief moment of levity gone.

“I don’t know,” I said, wishing I had a better answer. A more comforting answer. “I’m not sure anyone knows what happens after we die.”

“But Mimi—”

I placed my arm around Maddox and pulled him into my side. “That’s what Mimi thinks. What do you think?”

I was still fuming over the whole thing, but also…I couldn’t believe I’d actually stood up to my mom. She’d picked on me—picked me apart—my entire life. And I’d taken it. Again and again, I’d taken her abuse. But I would not let her do that to Maddox and Savannah.

I only wished I’d said something more. Sooner, even.

He stared at the floor. “It’s silly.”

“You want to know what I think?” I asked, rubbing his arm.

He nodded, sniffling, so I said, “I like to imagine that your mom is in a big library with all the books she could ever want.”

He smiled. “I like that.”

“Yeah?” I asked. “Do you want to add to it? Maybe we can close our eyes and visit her together.”

He considered it a moment then nodded. I watched him close his eyes and bow his head. “She’d like a fireplace.”

“Yeah. Good one.” I grinned, imagining it too. “And a big, cozy chair.”

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