Page 115 of A Love Like That

I pressed my palms to the counter and inhaled slowly, deeply. I reminded myself that Ellie was alive. I tried to visualize her arriving in Japan safely, but my mind kept conjuring images of a plane crash. Of wreckage in the ocean. Of…

“Dad?” Savannah asked.

“Yeah, honey?” I lifted my head, hoping my fears weren’t written across my face.

“Can I go to Aiden’s?”

“I, um—” Selfishly, I wanted to say no. I wanted to keep the kids close. I wanted the distraction. But I realized maybe that wasn’t what Savannah needed, so I said, “Sure. Let me check in with Enzo and see if that’s okay.”

“Thanks, Daddy.”

After I dropped the kids off at Aiden’s, I went upstairs to do laundry and get the house back in order for the week. But when I reached the guest room, I paused. The bed had been stripped of the sheets. All of Elle’s stuff was gone.Shewas gone.

I sank down on the mattress and dropped my head in my hands. Eventually, I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling. I stayed there until the sunlight started to dim, darkness creeping in. When I glanced at the time, it was late, later than I expected. So I texted Enzo that I was on my way and drove to the vineyard to pick up the kids.

When we returned to the house, it was as if their good moods suddenly vanished. They trudged toward the house, but then a dog yowled, and we all stopped.

The three of us looked at one another just before Rex rounded the corner to the garage and sprinted toward us.

“Rex!” Savannah called, opening her arms for him.

“Rex!” Maddox yelled, running in circles.

I didn’t know where he’d been, and I didn’t care. I was just glad he was home.

My first thought was to run inside and tell Elle. But then I remembered that she was gone. And unlike Rex, she wasn’t going to magically return.

TWENTY-EIGHT

Three flights. A million regrets. And endless tears.

I splashed some water on my face, scarcely able to look at myself in the mirror. I was exhausted and dirty, but I’d made it to Japan. Though I still wasn’t quite sure how.

I was still haunted by the sound of Maddox’s cries as I’d forced myself to walk through security. I remembered locking myself in the bathroom and crying so hard I couldn’t breathe. I remembered quietly sobbing the entire flight to LA, grateful for the window seat and the oversized sunglasses to hide my face.

The flight from LA to Tokyo was no better. And I’d spent most of it wondering if I could still change my mind. But then I reminded myself it didn’t matter.

Tristan didn’t want me to stay.

My mind kept circling back to that. To our conversation where I’d offered to stay and he’d shut me down.

I sighed and forced myself to wash my face and brush my teeth. I smoothed my hair back into a ponytail and changed into a suit. And yet, I still felt no more ready to accept this as my new reality. I’d stopped crying but only because I was so dehydrated, my body could no longer produce tears.

The entire time, I wondered if I’d made a huge mistake. A fear that didn’t improve when my third and final flight landed in Naruto. Nor after I’d collected my luggage and met my new supervisor and the others I’d be spending the next year with.

One year.

Twelve months.

So much could happen. It was a long time to be away from the AV. Away from the kids and Tristan.

I tried to smile and pay attention to what everyone was saying, but I couldn’t. My head, my heart, were back in the AV. And the farther we got from the airport, the more I panicked.

It was hot and cramped in the van, and I was surrounded by unfamiliar faces. By unfamiliar terrain. All the research I’d done about the program, about where I’d be living, had done nothing to prepare me for the reality of it.

I desperately tried to angle myself toward the AC vent then went back to staring out the window so I wouldn’t have to talk. It didn’t look like Japan. It looked like a random small town, though all the signs were in Japanese.

I was sweating through my suit, wondering what the hell I’d gotten myself into, when my supervisor started asking about foods we didn’t eat. I’d barely eaten since leaving the AV, and the thought of putting anything in my stomach was sickening. My breath started coming in pants, and I was really, really trying hard not to cry. Talk about making a great first impression.

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