Page 94 of A Crown of Lies

Rowan shrugged one shoulder and closed his eyes again. “In the aftermath, it’s easy to fall into your own head. Did I hit him too hard? What if there are marks? What if I coerced him into doing something he didn’t really want to do? What if I said or did something that hurt his feelings and he’s secretly angry with me? What if I neglected to give him what he needed or wanted? What if I was a poor instructor for you? What if I scared you, and now you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you.” She could never hate him. Even if they disagreed she couldn’thateanyone. It was such a strong word. Her father had taught her to love everyone, even her enemies. They were people too, complicated, messy people.

“I know.” He gave her a tired smile. “It’s just a feeling. It’ll pass. Usually, I don’t even have anyone to talk about it with. It’s… good to say something out loud. Keeps me from just cycling through the thoughts on my own until they spiral into a mess. I’m glad you’re here with me this morning, Rixxis.”

She smiled and blushed. “Well, then I’m glad to be here.”

He twisted, grabbing a bar of soap from the edge of the large tub, and started running it over his arms and chest. His movements were stiff and slow enough she thought it was obvious that he was in pain.

It must be hard to be in his position, she thought.Always taking care of everyone else all the time. Divine, he even took the time to teach me some things last night, and then the poor man barely got any sleep. Now he’s got to spend the day running a kingdom at war and preparing to march off to what might be the first battle he’s ever fought in. I should do something for him.

“Let me?” She held out her hand.

He looked up at her, a little stunned that she would offer. Why wouldn’t he be? She’d been so hesitant to touch him all this time. But he’d been right, too, hadn’t he? There was no reason for her to be nervous about it, for her to feel bad about wanting to touch him. Yes, he could be a little intimidating and forceful sometimes, but never in a way that had hurt her. Never so much that she doubted he would stop if she asked him to. Ieduin trusted him, and she trusted Ieduin’s judgement, which meant she should trust Rowan, too.

Rowan placed the soap in her outstretched hand and leaned back, letting his elbows rest against the back of the tub.

Her face was warm, and she knew she was blushing as she touched the soap to his shoulder and started rubbing it over his skin. There was no way to do it without noticing things about him, his body. Things she wouldn’t have let herself focus on otherwise, like the hair on his chest and how different it felt to touching Ieduin, who barely had any. Or the curve of his collarbone, how much bigger he was than Ieduin, who was built with smaller, almost boyish angles and lean muscle. Rowan’s body was hard and masculine and attractive in a way that left her heart fluttering and her head floating.

How could someone like that want someone like her?

But he did, and it wasn’t something he even tried to hide when she brought the soap lower and found him hard again. She pulled her hand away, suddenly too embarrassed to touch Rowan with him watching her every move, especially there.

He caught her hand and held her by the wrist. She looked at him, unsure until he guided her hand back beneath the water and let go, a silent invitation to touch him however she wished. His hand went back to the edge of the tub where it stayed, and he waited.

What the hell are you afraid of?She growled at herself inwardly.It’s just a cock. It’s not going to bite you.

He closed his eyes as she touched him, but otherwise didn’t move. Somehow, that was reassuring enough that she let her other hand go beneath the water too and began exploring him more thoroughly. She’d only seen him briefly the night before, but he was different from both Ieduin and Lewis had been, since he was uncut. That made him feel different in her hands, but she was also more afraid she might hurt him by pulling on it.

“Can I…” She didn’t know how to ask. Maybe it wasn’t the sort of thing a woman should ask a man. It would almost certainly sound stupid coming out.

“Gently,” he said. “Like this.” His hand closed around hers, tighter than she ever would’ve dared. He showed her how easy it was, the extra skin just gliding up and down with her palm.

“That doesn’t hurt?” she asked when he took his hand away and left her to do it on her own. It seemed like it should hurt, or at least be uncomfortable.

He gave her an amused smile. “Look at who you’re asking.”

“Just because you like being in control doesn’t mean you like pain,” she scoffed.

“I do like some, but this… There is absolutely nothing painful about what you are doing to me.” He tipped his head back and just let her do as she wished.

All the awkwardness quickly fell away when she saw what her touch did to him. It was almost impossible to believe this was the same man who’d been so in command with Ieduin the night before. Now, he was completely at her mercy, letting her touch him wherever she wanted, however she wanted.

She tested that, switching hands, and working more soap up and down his length to make it more slippery. Rowan flexed his fingers into fists, and his breathing quickened. He was almost panting when she stopped, moving her hand further back. He made a hissing sound as she squeezed his testicles, muscles in his chest and stomach tightening.

“Would you ever let him fuck you?” she asked, though she wasn’t even sure where the question came from. Now that it was out there, though, she was thinking about it and wondering if he ever did things the other way around from how it had gone the night before.

“Hmm. Is that what you want?” He smirked at her.

She squeezed his cock and went back to stroking him. “Don’t answer my question with another question. That’s not fair.”

His eyes rolled back, and he let out a small groan. “You keep doing that and I don’t know if I can answer you. You’re making it very difficult to concentrate.”

She suddenly stopped and just squeezed him. “Answer the question.” Rixxis was starting to understand the appeal of his position. It was fun having all the power, especially over someone as cocky as Rowan.

His cocksure smirk returned. “Top, bottom… Doesn’t matter to me so long as I get to be in charge. I’d be lying if I said the thought of tying him up and giving him a good ride hadn’t occurred to me, but you tell me. How is it with the piercing?”

“I guess you’ll just have to find out for yourself.”

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