Page 61 of A Crown of Lies

“Then don’t. You’re Rixxis Amaranth if that’s who you say you are. Rowan understands that.” He sighed and stretched out next to her, hands folded over his chest. “Last night, when we were talking… I thought you liked Rowan?”

“I do. It’s just…”

“Then what are you so afraid of?”

She’d been asking herself that same question for hours.

“Is it the sex dungeon?” Ieduin asked, staring at the ceiling. “I bet it’s the sex dungeon.”

Rixxis frowned. “I’m not going to lie about that. It is a little intimidating.”

“You know you don’t have to do any of that, right? If you’re not into it, it’s fine.”

She sighed. “I think I’m more afraid that Iam.” She rolled her head to the side, meeting his eyes. “I’m not like you. I’m new to this. Where I come from… Nobody talks about it openly. I didn’t even know…” She sighed again. “I don’t even know what I don’t know.”

He lifted an eyebrow.

Rixxis gave him a shove that nearly pushed him off the bed. “I know how to have sex. It’s just that there’s a part of me that is afraid what I had with Lewis is all there is, that all of you have been lying to me. That it can’t be that good.”

He pushed up to sit, frowning. “Have you ever been with another man? Besides your worthless husband?”

Rixxis shook her head. “Just Lewis.”

“And he never…?”

She shook her head again.

He gave her the most offended look she’d ever seen. “Are you telling me you’ve never had an orgasm? Are you shitting me?”

Her face was so hot, so bright red, she was sure she was glowing in the dark. “I have. I think.”

“Pretty sure you would know if you did. You know what this means?”

She covered her face and groaned. “Please, please don’t say it.”

“Obviously, we’re going to have to fix this, Rixxis. Take it from someone who used to sell pleasure for a living. Nobody should ever settle for only ever having bad sex.” He peeled her hand from her face, grinning down at her. “I promise, nobody is lying to you. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but… Shame on him. He had a goddess of a woman and just threw it away. He didn’t deserve you, Rixxis.”

“And Rowan does?”

Ieduin’s expression sobered. He huffed a sigh out through his nose. “I think he deserves a chance to prove he’s worthy of you, at least. But I’m not saying you shouldn’t make him work for it.” He winked.

She laughed, her earlier melancholy all but forgotten. Ieduin had a way of making her feel better, no matter how foul her mood. Ieduin was good to her. Maybe she was unsure about Rowan, but there could be no doubts about how she felt about Ieduin.

She sat up.

“Rixxis, what are you…” He trailed off when she yanked her tunic over her head.

He stared at her, breathing hard, eyes oddly glued to her face. He was avoiding looking at the rest of her, as if she were a snake about to bite him.

She wadded up the tunic and tossed it aside. The room was chilly with the fire out, but she would sit there all day if that’s how long it took to make him look at her. What would he see? Would he look at her as if she were a disappointment? Like he’d hoped for something softer, gentler, more feminine?

His throat bobbed as he forced himself to swallow. “Rixxis?” Her name was a question on his lips, an uncertain thing.

She wished it weren’t. She wished she could be Rixxis Amaranth, Crow commander, warrior. Rixxis could stand alongside him forever, no matter what. They could fight back-to-back as equals, as friends, as lovers.

“Say it again.” Her hands went to the band of thin fabric over her breasts, unfastening it.

Ieduin licked his lips. “Rixxis.” He sounded breathless, like he’d just come in from a long, intense run.

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