Page 137 of A Crown of Lies

When they parted, even Rowan was a little teary-eyed. He smiled and patted Ieduin’s shoulder. “Are you all right?”

Ieduin nodded slowly, pushing away the last tears.

“Then we’d better eat. And make sure to leave room for cake.” He patted Ieduin once again, and they stood, headed for their seats.

“Cake?” Ieduin said, eyes widening. “You have a cake? Just how long have you been planning this?”

“Since we left Brucia,” Rixxis said, shooting Rowan a knowing smile. “And he’s been giddy with excitement ever since I brought it up.”

“I wanted to do a whole thing,” Rowan explained. “Lights, and dancing, and music—”

“You’re lucky we had to march. Trust me,” Rixxis said, pointing at Ieduin with her fork.

Their conversation settled into their usual good-natured banter as Rowan went into detail about his outrageous plan. Ieduin was thankful Rixxis had put a stop to it. Even just this small celebration felt like too much. He didn’t feel important enough to warrant bringing a chef all the way out there and going through all this trouble.

Maybe I am to them, he thought, helping himself to the last of the dumplings.Maybe that’s enough. I don’t have to be a king, or the world’s most feared assassin, or the most powerful mage. I don’t have to be anything but who I am for them, and that’s enough.

After dinner, they brought in a pineapple cake with coconut flakes, which was something he’d never have had in the Yeutlands, but he’d tried it in Trinta and it was absolutely his favorite cake in the world. He ate two slices. Two! That was probably too much, but what were birthdays for if not indulging?

After he had more than enough to eat, Rowan exchanged a long look and a smile with Rixxis.

“I have a gift for you,” Rowan started, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “But first…” He rose and came down the length of the table to kneel before Rixxis, presenting her with a small box that he popped open to reveal a ring with a disgustingly large diamond. “There are very few things a man gets to choose in this world, but who to spend his life with is one of the most important. The moment I saw you, I knew you were the one I wanted by my side forever, Rixxis. Both of you were.”

Rowan turned with the last words and reached into his pocket to get outanotherring box.

Ieduin’s heart did a backflip. “Rowan, what in the nine hells are you doing?”

“Making a decision,” Rowan said, and opened the box.

Ieduin’s breath caught as he stared at the band of silver with several small diamonds set in the band itself. His eyes met Rowan’s. “But… I’m just an elf. I’m a whore, Rowan.”

Rowan gripped him firmly by the back of the head in an affectionate gesture. “You are worthy of everything and more. You’ve never been just a whore. You’re amazing, resilient in a way few are. The things you have survived just to come this far… How could I not love you?”

Ieduin tried to swallow, but his throat was tight again. “You son of a bitch. You’re going to make me cry twice in one night.” He pushed the ring away. “I don’t want a crown, Rowan.”

“Then be my consort,” Rowan said. “Be my lover, my friend. My treasured confidant. Call yourself whatever you like. Just be mine.”

Ieduin nodded to Rixxis. “Did you know about this?”

Her beaming smile told him everything.

Ieduin stared at Rowan. “You’re really going to marry both of us?”

“If you both say yes. How was I ever supposed to choose just one of you?”

“What about Greymark? The people?” Ieduin shook his head. “Will they even understand?”

“I love you,” Rowan said, and then turned back to Rixxis. “And I love you. And you love each other. What else is there to understand?”

Ieduin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.Is this what I want? I don’t know. I just don’t know. This is too much all at once. I can’t fucking breathe. How am I supposed to make a decision if I can’t breathe?

“I…” He pushed up to stand. “I need some air,” he said and walked out of the tent.

Forty-One

Ieduinstumbledoutofthe tent and kept going until things made sense. Or at least until he thought they started to. By the time he was fully aware of his surroundings, he’d left the camp behind and wandered to the place where the forest met the river at the mouth of The Scar. The water was high thanks to the dam they’d built upriver. In the dim light, it looked like a black vein, pulsing with life, but it was too dark to see if there were any fish in it. The sound of rushing water roared in his ears, and he was calm.

He hugged himself tightly, staring into the rushing black.

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