“I know,” Isaac offered gently and kissed the top of his head.
He was quiet for so long, Isaac wondered if he’d gone back to sleep.
Then Kat tipped his head up. “You really want to have children?”
Isaac’s heart clenched at the question. The last time he’d brought it up, Kat had seemed averse to the idea. He’d decided to leave it alone, at least until after the war was over. They had their entire lives ahead of them. Plenty of time to work all that out in the future. But since Kat had brought it up…
He took a deep breath and nodded. “I do.”
“You would be a good father. But me…” Kat sighed and rolled onto his back away from Isaac. “I was nothing but breeding stock to my family. Perhaps that’s soured my perception of the idea. Children were always the last thing I wanted. Having children is just an opportunity for me to become more like my father.”
That was a sore spot for Kat. He talked about his mother with affection, and sometimes even his twin sister, despite all the horror she’d inflicted on him. But heneverspoke of his father.
“Or an opportunity to do better,” Isaac countered.
Kat turned his head and frowned at him. “Is that why?”
Isaac took Kat’s hands and held them. “I understand you’re hesitant. It’s not something we need to decide now, but we should talk about it, Kat.”
Before, he’d considered it impossible. He was only ever attracted to men, and then he’d joined the Brotherhood, become a knight… There were a hundred ways for him to fill his time. Yet, even when his father was pushing him to marry a woman, and ranting about him carrying on the family name, there was a small bit of appeal to that life. He could’ve survived it if he had a son or a daughter, even found a reason to be happy. Sometimes, he would think about that. It’d been his one regret about taking his oaths, that he'd closed that door forever.
Now, it was different.
He knew Kat was interested in some women, and that didn’t change just because they’d married. Even if their relationship was just the two of them, Isaac was not opposed to getting the right woman involved, but that decision wasn’t his to make. Kat had to be open to it, and ultimately, that was the problem. As a mage, Kat would almost certainly pass that trait on, even if the surrogate was not.
Adopting a child was an option, too. Aryn and Mercia had almost thirty orphans, all in need of a home that they could provide, but only if Kat was willing.
If he told Katyr the truth, that he didn’t know if he could be happy with just the two of them, it would feel as if he were pressuring Katyr into doing something he didn’t want to do. And if he lied and said it wasn’t that important, he might grow to resent Kat’s reluctance. That resentment would fester until they grew apart beyond repair. He’d seen it happen in other couples. He did not want it to happen to them.
When Isaac didn’t answer right away, Kat rolled on top of him and traced a playful finger over Isaac’s cheek. “I’ll tell you what,” he said, kissing Isaac’s chin. “You talk about it as much as you like while I do this.” He started kissing his way down Isaac’s chest.
This was how it always went. He’d try to bring up something serious, and somehow it always ended in sex.
Isaac grabbed a handful of Kat’s golden curls and yanked his head up. “I shouldn’t let you.”
He gave Isaac a mischievous smirk in response. “But you will. You want it too much.”
“This isn’t one of those conversations that’s going to end just because you distract me, Kat.”
“I know,” he said with a shrug. “But I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Punish me after?”
“You won’t be able to sit during the peace talks,” Isaac promised. “Not when I’m done with you.”
“Yes, please?” Kat groaned and lowered his head, licking up and down Isaac’s length.
Isaac was just starting to let himself enjoy the attention when a bell began to ring.
Kat sat up. “What’s that?”
“I don’t know, but it can’t be good.” Isaac stumbled out of bed, yanking his pants back up.
He pulled on a robe and opened their bedroom door to find guards marching by double time. They shoved past Lord Niall, whose room was across from theirs. He must’ve come out into the hall to see what was happening. Isaac turned his head, eying Eris’s door. The three guards he’d placed were still there, their hands on their weapons.
“Back in your rooms,” the guards ordered.
“What’s going on?” Isaac asked. “What’s happened?”
Niall turned tired eyes toward him and shook his head. “Don’t look at me. I don’t know anything.”