Page 70 of All Roads Lead to You

“I’ll get you a cloth,” he muttered, abruptly pushing himself away and off the couch, needing some time to think it through.

Or at least he tried to.

Until Beth’s arms tightened around him, holding him where he was.

“Don’t go,” she said. “We need to talk about this.”

“Beth…”

But she didn’t let him go. “If you marry me, I’ll be your wife, Finn. Have you thought about that? I’ll be your wife, just like Sheri was—”

“No,” he said sharply, before he could stop himself. “You won’t be like Sheri. No one was like her, okay? You’re different. You don’t look like her, you don’t act like her. You’re pregnant. We’re going to have a baby. It’s not the same.” His heart was beating very fast. “And I don’t love you. That’s why it works.”

The flush of color had ebbed from her cheeks, leaving her pale, and he knew he’d hurt her, though why she should be hurt by any of this, when they didn’t have feelings for each other, he had no idea. But she was.

With an effort, he got a grip on himself. “I’m sorry,” he said with more gentleness this time. “I haven’t had a woman in this house since she died and it’s hitting me harder than I thought.”

A tiny crease of concern appeared between her brows. “You haven’t? Not at all?”

He hesitated a moment with the truth, because no one knew, and he wasn’t in any hurry for people to find out. But Beth had given him a secret of her own and without being prompted. She’d simply offered it up, as if he was a man who deserved to know, a man she could trust. So how could he hold back now?

But it will make her important. It will make her mean something.

Yeah, well, shewasimportant, and she did mean something. It wasn’t love, but it was something all the same, and she deserved to know.

“No,” he said. “In fact, I haven’t been with a woman since she died.” He couldn’t stop himself from looking into her pretty green eyes, from holding her gaze so she could see the truth. “You’re the first. You’re the first in five years.”

He could see the shock flicker over her face, and suddenly he didn’t want to know what she thought. He couldn’t bear any questions about it.

“Stay there.” He needed to get some space, put some distance between them. “I’ll get a cloth.”

This time when he got up, she let him go.

He put on his jeans and stalked to the bathroom in the hallway, finding a soft cloth for her and turning on the hot tap for some warm water.

As the water ran, he muttered a curse under his breath. He shouldn’t have said those things to her. Why had he? About Beth being different and how he didn’t love her. About her being the first woman he’d been with in five years.

His emotions were all over the place and it wasn’t fair to put them on her. She had nothing to do with Sheri, and all the issues he had were his to deal with, not hers. Especially when she had more than enough on her plate to handle as it was.

Then again, she did need to know where she stood, especially if she was going to be living with him and they were going to be married. A certain amount of honesty was required.

He’d learned that with Sheri in the first few months after they’d moved in together. He was a neat freak, and she was messy as hell, and things had been a bit fraught until they’d figured out a system that worked for both of them.

They’d had arguments after that, sure, but not very many of them. Sheri had been very forthright and honest, which had helped.

This is about more than her being untidy and you being neat. You don’t even know if she is or not. You don’t know anything about her.

Well, that was a lie. He knew she was bright and cheerful and pretty. He knew she’d lost a baby. He knew that she’d had postnatal depression and a partner called Troy who’d left her…

A heavy, powerful feeling shifted in his chest, but he shut it down hard before he could figure out what it was. Yeah, he knew bits and pieces about her. And he should probably be a little more forthcoming with her, but he could do that.

This thing between them would work. He’d make it work.

Turning the tap off and squeezing out the cloth, Finn brought it back to the living area. Beth had pulled one of the blankets that was hanging over the back of the couch around her, covering herself up, which was a pity. He loved looking at her naked.

She was looking at him, those big green eyes of hers full of emotion, sympathy, compassion, and all kinds of other things that made his soul ache and his spirit hungry. Suddenly he wanted everything he could see in her gaze, wanted it desperately, as if he’d been starved of it.

But that would involve him giving her things he wasn’t ready to give, and he didn’t know if he ever would, so he said nothing as he handed her the cloth.

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