Page 26 of Return to Garoureve

She thought about brushing her mother off, not wanting to answer or be vulnerable, but there was a kindness in her voice, something soft that Violet craved to feel. She could answer... just to be nice.

“Cold. I’ve been feeling... cold.”

“Hmm...” Oh, no. And now, Violet had screwed up. Just that first answer, and she had already doomed herself, because now she was thinking, and that meant some sort of garbage was going to come out of her mouth.

“And then, I’m hot. Really hot. Like... hands on fire hot.”

“I’m sorry, did you—Do you mean that literally?”

“Uh, maybe?”

Shit. What was it about her mother that always had her answering things she didn’t want to. She had no power to hang up the phone on this woman, even though she ached to. Dammit, fuck.

“And let me guess, these temperature fluctuations occur when Henrik is near?”

Letting out a long sigh, Violet sat down on the edge of her bed, knowing there was no chance to even try dodging the question. “Yes. When he’s here, it’s like I’m on fire, and then we go to touch, and my hands... Yeah, I mean literally. But then he leaves, and it’s like there’s no warmth left in me.”

“Hmm...”

Violet counted to sixty, slowly, knowing it would take that long for her mother to form a response. All she could do was count, one number after the next, waiting to hear what her mother would say. She was at forty-eight when she got her answer.

“Well, it makes sense. After all, fire is the element that erupts. When faced with some sort of difficulty, you were never the child to simply shift your expectations, nor did you try to change course. You didn’t even dig in your heels. You were always erupting, exploding. It wasn’t even necessarily with anger. You just always... roared up. Always big. Always a personality.”

What the hell did that even mean?

“What I mean is, when you’re trying to get something done, when you’re trying to change things, or to produce things, you seem to linger like embers, never entirely put out, but simply waiting for the right fuel to inflame you, and when it comes, when that adversary or that problem comes, you erupt.”

Fuck, she hated when her mother was right. And now, for how many years had she been embers, waiting, waiting until Henrik returned. Was that her magic, banked in, waiting for the right fuel to bring it back to life? Was her magic just waiting for the right moment to reach out and engulf her?

“And you think that’s my magic? That I’m just... destined to only work with fire?”

“I think that until you can push past the binding on your magic, only fire will be able to reach through.”

Ugh, more riddles and answers and... things she hated.

“So how do I break through? How does one break past something with fire? Is fire the binding? You can’t just break down fire. Embers never go out, not unless you smash them entirely, bury them deep, but... I did that for years. Buried my magic and who I am and my connection with him.”

“Did I say to break it?”

Why was this woman always speaking in riddles?

“Push through, my dear. When you’re surrounded by the flames, you have to simply... push through.”

Chapter 10

Thirty-eightdayshadpassedsince Henrik Ellis walked back into her life, and now, Violet was once again waiting. Hopefully, it would be the last time she was waiting for him. She didn’t know what his idea was, or whether it would even work, but this had to be it. Either... either they were going to be together, or she had to end this, entirely. The back and forth, the push and the pull, it was driving her insane. If he needed to return to Garoureve, then she would have to go with him. If the answers were there, or in New York, or in California, or on the other side of the world, she didn’t care. She would even go back to Canada if she had to, to find answers.

But the previous phase of her life, the emptiness and the loneliness, the floating through and floating by, it had to end. It had to end today. And this limbo he had set her in since walking back into her life, that had to end as well.

After today, either they were working together to a common goal of being one, or she was shutting that part of herself, the part that he inhabited, forever.

The shop was more or less closed for the night, as she had canceled all of their appointments. The boys were pissed, of course, which was understandable, but she paid them for their lost money and sent them to the bar, with the explanation being that she was having a date with Henrik, and well...

It seemed like the boys really liked her, because the arguments stopped, and they all congratulated her on their way out the door. Bless them.

Was tonight also going to be the night she lost her virginity, because holy crap was she ready. Every toy in existence had burned a hole in her mattress more than once. Being in your 30s and still a virgin could be considered embarrassing for some, but Henrik was her one and only, literally. She also couldn’t really connect bare skin with anyone else, and while she could of course have a barrier of some sort, probably, the thought of anyone else touching her, kissing her...

Henrik was coming. He had an idea. There was hope for the future.

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