Her fingers stilled on the mug.
“Do you?”
“Yes. I can’t begin to fathom why you’d accuse me of such a thing. I haven’t been able to sleep knowing that’s how you see me.”
She hurled his words back at him, laced with malice. “You should learn to carry yourself better.”
Dayton’s throat constricted. Clever girl.
His nails dug into the underside of the table as he fought to maintain a modicum of composure.
“I love you, Kenna Aisling, and it feels like a betrayal of the highest degree that you think I’m the one responsible for this.”
“That day in your office, you wouldn’t help her. She had bruises all over her neck and you did nothing and weeks later, you were giving me bruises.”
“Do you hear yourself? You sound like a conspiracy theorist. That isn’t a logical line of thinking.”
“Maybe you’d consider my other point of contention to be more logical.” Folding her arms on the table, she leaned across them, speaking only where he could hear. “Sometimes I wonder, what if Bella didn’t jump?”
Kenna was right. The choice of venue had been a poor idea. It was imperative he stayed calm despite his boiling blood, that quiet inferno. He inhaled sharply to steady himself.
“Stand up and walk outside. Forget the coffee.”
Eyes widening, she obeyed in mute terror and Dayton trailed behind her out the door. He grabbed her hand to ensure she remained at his side.
She always seemed to be running.
Brilliant red leaves fell from the youthful maples and floated to the ground. Piles collected in the gutter. They strolled along the sidewalk of Branch Spring’s historic downtown, hand in hand, and the other couples passing by were none the wiser that he was holding her hostage to their conversation.
“Bella was sick long before she and I met. Her decision to take her life had nothing to do with our involvement. Did we not settle this fear of yours at Sinclair’s?”
She tried to jerk her hand free but he tightened his grasp. “You expect me to chalk it up to coincidence that she died three days after you slept with her? I mean, really, if she was as sick as you say, why did you sacrifice her treatment over getting her in bed?”
So much for the walk.
Dayton pulled her into an alleyway and pinned her shoulders to the brick, craning his neck and staring wildly into her eyes. “I didn’t end Bella’s treatment. She did. When she mentioned ending her sessions, she asked me if I’d walk with her in the park one evening. She said fresh air did more for her than sitting in a shrink’s office. So I thought I’d be progressive and agree. She kissed me on those trails and I knew I was playing with fire, choosing her, but my lust can’t be swayed once it’s made up its mind.”
“Like Lacey?”
He drove her shoulders further into the wall. “No, not like Lacey. I couldn’t have had her even if I’d wanted to. I’d already chosen you.”
She was far from moved by the sentiment.
“If you haven’t hurt anyone, why do you insist on filling my head with these dark fantasies? What you said at your house aboutorgansin jars? The mind games have to stop.”
Dayton knew he had taken their conversation on the couch too far but his fear of the way she viewed him had taken charge and ran with it.
Yet another thing out of his control.
Dropping his forehead to hers, he ignored the way she flinched. Her recoil tugged at something deep within his chest. It uprooted his heart. He had tried to convince Kenna that he was a monster in small part because he didn’t believe he deserved her. That didn’t mean he wanted her any less.
She was a ray of light in his eternal night.
“It’s telling how little experience you have in this world, going around and believing such an outlandish remark.”
“Who made you an authority on my experience?”
“The comment about why your parents wouldn’t let any of you learn to drive? It doesn’t take much more than that to figure out that you were sheltered, though I don’t know to what extent. Maybe one day, I will.” Dayton channeled a new energy in his gaze. More sincere, less intense. He laced his fingers with hers and she drew a sharp intake of breath, like she had regressed to an age where hand-holding was scandalous. “But until then, I’ll thank God every day, knowing He could have brought you anywhere and yet He chose to lead you here.”