Page 11 of If Not for the Duke

She’d tried kissing several times and understood the appeal but hadn’t met anyone who tempted her to repeat the experience. The best part about a kiss was the moment just before. The lovely breathless feeling, the dip in her stomach followed closely by flutters. When one’s mind was filled with possibilities.

In all honesty, she’d felt all of that and more with Renwick. How unfortunate.

She’d found the actual kisses themselves to be less enjoyable, with scrunched noses, awkward positions, and lips either too wet or too dry. Perhaps she was doing something wrong, or maybe it had been her partners. Despite that, kissing might be worth additional experimentation.

But not with His Grumpiness.

“Do you intend to visit Lady Bernice again?” Norah asked.

“I suppose I have no choice since I’ll have to return the letters. It would be rude to send them with a servant.”

“Agreed.” Norah studied her a moment. “Are you sure the letters don’t say anything interesting about a treasure on Oak Island?”

“Not at first glance. Though Lady Bernice suggested there might be some sort of hidden message in them. She found another book about Oak Island’s history and is scouring that for information.” Lena pondered the matter further. “Do you know that Renwick calls her Bernie? I think it rather sweet.”

The puzzled look that came over Norah’s face reminded Lena that she’d veered off the topic, but she couldn’t help herself.

“He seems to hold her in high regard,” Norah said.

“Apparently, their father was not an especially pleasant person. Lady Bernice said her brother often defended her against him.”

“That’s terrible.” Norah looked aghast.

“Indeed.” Lena scowled. “I didn’t intend to be friends with her, but after learning that, how could I not? My sympathies are now engaged.” Lena preferred to keep others at arm’s length. It was too difficult to have close friendships without revealing her intuition.

“What of your affections?” Norah asked. “She seems a pleasant person.”

“I do like her. She’s several years younger than me, of course. I suppose it’s a bit of a novelty to feel like an older sister for a change.”

Norah laughed. “I never thought you might feel that way. You’re wise for your years and often give me advice.”

Lena shook her head. “That doesn’t exactly sound like a compliment.”

“It is. Absolutely.” Norah reached to touch her hand. “I am blessed to be your sister.”

“Despite my oddity?” Lena pressed a finger to her lips, hardly able to believe the question had escaped. She hadn’t meant to allow it out.

“Your intuition is not an oddity. It’s a gift. Think of all the good you’ve done.”

“Think of all the good I haven’t.” Lena swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat. That was what bothered her the most—the times she hadn’t understood the feeling or worse, ignored it. The worst had been the day their father died. “If only—”

“Allow me to stop you right there.” Norah squeezed Lena’s arm as if to emphasize her point. “You helped to find him much earlier than we would’ve otherwise.”

“But it didn’t save him.” Her breath caught, emotion choking her. “I didn’t save him.”

“Nor did I.” Norah’s gaze fell. “If I hadn’t argued with him that morning…”

“Norah.” Lena waited until her sister met her eyes. “You are not to blame. Ella and I have told you that several times.”

“Nor are you. Yet it seems we both need to hear that regularly.” Norah sniffed, and Lena leaned forward to hug her, holding tight for a long moment.

“Just when I think I’ve overcome the concern, it creeps back,” Lena confessed in a whisper.

“I know. I feel much the same.” Norah drew back to hold her gaze. “I wish we had that day to live over again.”

“Only if we knew then what we know now.”

Norah frowned. “Though that would make it terrible, wouldn’t it?”

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