Page 75 of If Not for the Duke

Sterling had learned to remain aloof, telling himself he didn’t trust others but was that true? Wasn’t that just a way of protecting himself from the pain of rejection?

One thing was clear. He wouldn’t allow his father to continue controlling him. He didn’t know if he had a chance for a future with Lena, but he wanted to continue down that path and see what happened.

Bernie would understand if he explained it to her.

He tossed aside his napkin and stood, striding toward the stairs to take them two at a time. First, he looked in the drawing room but found it empty. Next, he tried his sister’s sitting room, only to find no hint of Bernie. Left with no choice, he knocked on her bedroom door.

“Bernie?” His only answer was silence. “I know you’re in there.” He didn’t, but it was his best guess. He waited a few more seconds and was certain he heard the rustle of movement. “I’m coming in.”

He waited a moment, then opened the door, unsurprised to see his sister sitting at her desk. “Good morning.”

She glanced at him briefly before returning her attention to the letter she was writing. “Morning. Is there something you need?” The fact that she didn’t look at him showed the depth of her upset.

As she sat at her desk, her posture perfect, he realized she wasn’t the fragile little girl she used to be. She was a woman grown and deserved to be treated as one. But he knew he wouldn’t ever lose his need to try to protect her.

“Yes.” He walked slowly forward, taking a deep breath with the hope the right words would come to mind. “I need to speak with you. But first I want to apologize.”

“Whatever for?” Her quiet voice hurt him more than her anger would’ve.

He ran a hand through his hair, uncertain what to say. “I should have told you about my feelings for Lena. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

At last, she set down her pen and turned in her chair to face him. “Yes. You should have.”

“I swear to you that I do not intend to ruin the friendship the two of you have.”

“Do you truly have feelings for her or is this a fleeting attraction that will soon pass?”

Sterling hesitated. “Would you rather it was? Fleeting, that is?”

Bernie drew tiny circles with her finger on the polished surface of her desk for a long moment. “I care for Lena very much.” She paused the motion to meet his gaze. “I would hate to lose her as a friend. But I also worry that’s the only reason she is my friend—because of you.”

“That’s not true. She isn’t Lady Susan.” That particular young lady had befriended Bernie while they were at their country estate. She’d been visiting a cousin for a few weeks in the area and struck up a friendship with Bernie. It hadn’t taken long for both Sterling and Bernie to realize the lady had only done so to get to Sterling.

Bernie had been disappointed and hurt. The incident had shaken her confidence, something she had little enough of to begin with, thanks to their father.

Sterling had hoped her time in Switzerland would help her regain it. While that seemed to be the case, he also knew that a few of the ladies at the finishing school had sought out Bernie simply because her brother was an eligible duke. He hated to know he couldn’t always protect her.

“You are right,” Bernie offered at last. “But sometimes it’s hard to know who to trust.”

“We can only rely on our instincts. Those are usually better judges of character than our brains.”

Bernie gave a small smile. “Now you are starting to sound like Cook. She always says ‘she knows what she knows.’”

“Perhaps that’s what she means,” Sterling said with a smile.

“How do you feel about Lena?”

Sterling had hoped she’d forgotten the question. “I don’t know. I suppose I need more time to say for certain. There is much to admire about her.”

“She is very pretty.”

“Yes,” he agreed, “but there is more to her than her appearance, don’t you think?”

“Of course,” Bernie agreed. “At first, I only wanted to talk to her about Oak Island.” She frowned, seeming to consider the statement further. “I suppose in a way I was using her.”

“Talking with others about a common interest is something we all do. It provides a connection where friendships start.” He drew closer and reached for Bernie’s hand. “Do you forgive me for not telling you about my interest in Lena?”

“Of course.” She squeezed his hand. “It was just a shock to see the two of you together on the terrace. Especially when I didn’t realize you thought of her or she of you in that regard. However, that doesn’t mean you can ruin my friendship with her. Please take care. I don’t want to see either of you hurt.”

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