Page 74 of If Not for the Duke

The air left his lungs in a rush. He hadn’t realized how much that meant to him until she said it. There was only one way to show her how her words touched him.

“Thank you.” He drew her close, gazing into her eyes before taking her mouth with his.

While he meant the kiss to be gentle, he couldn’t hold back. Not with the whirl of emotions inside him. Passion took control, and he sought a deeper connection with her. While she might be friendly toward Worley, he wanted more. Friendship was a start, but it wasn’t nearly enough.

Her lips opened for him before he could demand it. That made the kiss even more arousing. Her tongue danced with his and time slowed. She wrapped her arms around him, and he knew he’d never felt anything sweeter than this moment.

Never tasted anyone sweeter than Lena.

Now wasn’t the time or place to explore what was between them. They had only a few moments. If they were caught, he would be forced to propose and she to accept. Odd, but that no longer sounded so terrible.

Still, he eased back to look into her darkened blue eyes, grazing a finger along the softness of her cheek.

“Sterling?” The familiar feminine voice behind him had him stiffening. But the accusation in the tone had him turning in dismay.

“Bernie,” he began, his heart squeezing at the hurt in her expression, her eyes hidden by the glint of the torchlight on her spectacles.

Then his sister turned and fled into the ballroom, quickly disappearing in the crowd.

Chapter Nineteen

Lena caught theflash of pain in Bernie’s expression before she disappeared. Knowing she was the cause of it sent a spear of pain through Lena’s chest. She should’ve shared how she felt about Sterling with his sister, or at least hinted at it. Bernie had told her how often ladies had pretended to befriend her only to get close to her brother.

That wasn’t the case with Lena. Or at least, not anymore.

Guilt flooded her as she considered the matter further. In truth, she might not have encouraged a friendship with Bernie if she hadn’t been trying to find out more about their efforts to dig on Oak Island.

“I’ll speak to her,” Lena told Sterling.

The glare he sent her had Lena taking a step back.

“No. She’s my sister. I’ll go after her.” With a frustrated shake of his head, he gestured toward the ballroom. “You go in first. It wouldn’t do to have anyone see us entering at the same time.”

Lena wanted to argue. To protest the look of dismissal he’d given her. But that would have to wait until a better time. With one last glance at him that had her heart longing for what couldn’t be, she slipped into the ballroom and made her way around the perimeter of the dance floor to find Norah.

She couldn’t resist searching for Bernie as she went. While she understood Sterling’s need to be the one to speak to her, she wanted to talk to Bernie as well.

Norah and Vanbridge were in the middle of a conversation with friends when she joined them. Norah’s puzzled look as she looked past Lena for Sterling had Lena shaking her head. No doubt she expected Sterling to have escorted her back. Explanations would have to wait until later. She stood to one side to allow the conversation to flow around her while continuing to look for both Sterling and Bernie, to no avail.

What would he tell Bernie? She wished she knew. Yet she could easily guess what he’d say—that the kiss had meant nothing.

The thought was thoroughly depressing.

*

The following morning,Sterling waited for Bernie to appear for breakfast at her customary time, only to grow even more concerned when she didn’t. He’d tried to speak with her at the ball, but she had insisted an explanation wasn’t necessary, then claimed to have a headache. He’d escorted her home soon afterward without seeing any glimpse of Lena.

Discussing it during the carriage ride with Aunt Edith listening had been impossible and he knew his attempt to explain upon their return home had been rather convoluted.

How could he tell Bernie about his feelings for Lena when he couldn’t describe them to himself? He feared Bernie would think he was making excuses for his behavior.

Perhaps he was.

While he didn’t want to jeopardize Bernie’s friendship, neither did he want to step away from Lena. He wasn’t certain he could keep his distance. Not any longer. In truth, he was eager to explore what was between them.

Marbury and Vanbridge were to blame for his higher expectations of what marriage could be. Their examples filled him with the possibility of having a union that was more than simple duty.

Having a marriage like theirs meant opening himself to trusting others. That meant risking disappointment. Or worse—hurt. How many times had he tried as a boy to win his father’s love? His father had always rejected him, finding fault with the way he acted.

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