Page 38 of If Not for the Duke

“If you ladies will excuse us,” he said, offering his arm to Lena.

His entire body relaxed when she took it. He tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow, pressing it firmly against his side, enjoying the contact more than he should. He guided them toward the dance floor, anticipation filling him.

She looked beautiful as always in a pale green silk gown with a square neckline, mauve trim, and a small train. She moved gracefully, her long limbs lending her an elegant look.

“Has Clarke truly found the Money Pit?” Her lips twisted after she asked, making him think she didn’t really want to know but couldn’t resist.

“So he says.” He didn’t want to talk about it. Not when he knew the topic upset her. “I would prefer to speak of something else. Anything else. How did you find the weather today?”

The question nearly made her smile, and she met his gaze. “Surely, we haven’t resorted to speaking about the weather.”

“It was a particularly fine day. One worthy of discussion.”

Her genuine smile held him captive as if she were the reason they’d been graced with sunshine earlier in the day. The realization caused an odd ache in his chest. One he couldn’t help but rub, hoping to ease it to no avail.

“Is Lady Bernice here?” Lena asked while they waited for the other dancers to clear the floor.

Obviously, Lena hadn’t been struck by the feeling he had, or she wouldn’t be asking about his sister. He needed to take a firm hold of his ridiculous thoughts.

“She should arrive soon. Aunt Edith didn’t like the way Bernie’s hair was arranged because it made her spectacles more noticeable.” He shook his head. “At times, I wonder if she is the best choice for a chaperone. She is more critical of Bernie than I’d like.”

“Does your sister enjoy her company?”

Sterling frowned. “I’m not certain. I suppose I haven’t asked.” Lena’s question made him realize he should. Bernie needed a chaperone, and Sterling wanted a family member to be that person. Though he had to admit that even family couldn’t always be trusted. He rewarded Aunt Edith handsomely to watch over Bernie and lend her expertise, but he didn’t want the older woman to make Bernie miserable.

“I never imagined wearing spectacles would be such an issue.” Sterling shook his head. “Bernie was already a bit self-conscious about them, and I fear Aunt Edith has made it worse.”

“It can be difficult to know what personal agendas people have, can’t it? When we arrived in London, Grandfather chose Lady Havenby to chaperone us. While we weren’t certain about her at first, she has proven to be a friend we all love dearly. She has our best interests at heart, even if her thoughts and opinions don’t always mirror our own.” She glanced at him. “Perhaps the same is true for Mrs. Easton. Do you think there’s a reason she is so concerned about the spectacles?”

“Aunt Edith had a difficult life. I suppose she wants to help Bernie avoid the issues she faced. She firmly believes duty is more important than happiness.”

“Do you share that opinion?”

“Of course,” he said, surprised she’d asked. “With my title comes the weight of responsibility. Happiness is secondary at best.” He reconsidered, wondering if that was even true. He could count on one hand the times he had felt true joy in his lifetime. Satisfaction, certainly. But happiness was a rare and fleeting thing not to be counted on.

Lena’s puckered brow suggested she didn’t agree.

“What is important to you?” he asked, nodding at an acquaintance who passed by.

“I’m not a man, and certainly not a duke, so I suppose it’s different for me.”

“That’s not an answer,” he pressed. He wanted to know what she thought, though he couldn’t say why it was so important.

After considering the question for a moment, she smiled. “You’ll laugh.”

“I’m grumpy, remember? I won’t laugh.” He hadn’t noticed how little he smiled until Lena had pointed it out.

That caused her to laugh, and the sight had him smiling. His mood lifted, causing a warm lightness deep inside him. Maybe there was more to being happy than he’d realized.

They took their place on the dance floor, but his attention held on Lena, still waiting for an answer.

She met his gaze as they stood before each other, her blue eyes filled with an emotion he couldn’t interpret. “Love.”

His heart tripped at her answer. The term was a foreign concept to him, nearly as unfamiliar as happiness. Of course, he loved and trusted his sister, but that was the extent of his experience. He quickly dismissed her response. Surely, she jested. She had probably said that to tease him.

If that wasn’t the case, they had little in common.

The thought was sobering. He didn’t expect to experience love. The emotion was fleeting at best, painful at worst, and certainly unreliable. Trust was all that mattered. One didn’t have to love in order to trust.

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