Page 105 of Frozen Hearts and Death Magic

When asked about his past, River told them he was an orphan and pretended there were only painful memories that he wanted to forget. The men didn’t seem to care much, as it gave them more time to talk about themselves. That was how he was playing another game of dead king in the crew cabin.

“Say, lad.” Keller laughed, showing the gaps in his teeth. “You lied to the captain to get this job.” He took a long sip of his rum.

Well, no. River couldn’t lie. But they couldn’t know that. Or that he had indeed deceived the captain. He chuckled. “Did I?”

“Aye. I doubt you ever saw any action with that sword of yours. If anything, I think it’s a toy.”

River shrugged. “I can defend the ship. But you’re free to doubt me. I actually hope I never have to prove my worth in combat.”

“Hmm.” The old man stared at him. “You’re younger than my son. Not even a beard yet. You aren’t even eighteen, are you?”

“I’m eighteen. But the captain never asked my age.”

“Keller, shush it,” Antonio said. “You keep talking about having to save us, you’re going to attract danger. The lad is fine. Just too fancy, that’s all.”

Fancy? River had dressed to look like a dock or ship worker.

Antonio added, “Must have been raised by some noble. They do have free time to learn to wield swords, don’t they?” He turned to River. “It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it.”

He definitely didn’t. And the man had gotten awfully close to the truth. River had been drinking rum, dressed in simple linen clothes, wearing his hair all messy to cover his ears, and they still thought he’d been raised by a noble? His disguise was definitely shitty.

Keller still stared at him. “You remind me of my son.”

“Everyone does when you’re drunk, old man.” Antonio laughed.

“True. I just… I thought there was so much more to life. Kept chasing empty dreams in the sea. Meanwhile, my son grew up, and you know what I am? A lonely old man whose only son won’t talk to him.”

“You have your granddaughter,” River reminded him.

“Hopefully.” He looked down.

The old man had been trying to communicate with her and was going to bring her gifts from his trip. Older people’s regrets were regrets to pay attention to. They had lived enough that eventually they turned back to what truly mattered. In the man’s case, it was his family, the family he had ignored his entire life.

River thought about the man’s regret over his son and his own relationship with his father. Perhaps River could have cared more, but caring was dangerous. When you cared, you could get hurt. It was so much easier to pretend he didn’t want anything to do with his father’s expectations. So much easier than letting him down. The realization surprised him.

“Your eyes are red?” Keller asked.

Shit. River had lost hold over the glamour for a second, but he fixed it. “What?”

“For a moment I thought your eyes were red, like those evil fae.”

River shifted, but smiled. “You’re definitely getting drunk.”

The man squinted. “We never see your ears, lad.”

Antonio snorted. “Stop with the nonsense. If he were fae, we’d all be dead by now.”

River pulled up his hair in a bun, first having glamoured his ears. “There. Happy?” He was going to pull up his hair more often during the day, as the last thing he wanted was for someone to get curious and check him while he slept. He had no glamour while asleep, but with his eyes closed and his hair over the ears, with strands carefully stuck to them, nobody would find out what he was.

Keller looked away. “I’ll be happy when I give my little Janet the figurine.”

So much pain in his voice. River tried to console him. “I think it’s the intention that counts. That you want to be close to her.” His own words sounded odd. River had been dodging any and all responsibility related to the kingdom and causing a rift between him and his father. He had never considered if just the intention of helping could have been enough. He’d never considered if he could have been enough.

Antonio then said, “I’ll be happy when I’m married.” He turned to River. “What about you? When will you be happy?”

“When the war is over.” There had been no hesitation in his words. It was indeed what he most wished.

Keller nodded. “Aye, lad. That, too.”

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