Page 61 of Frozen Hearts and Death Magic

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Fel turned aroundand galloped away, as fast as he could. He wanted that image to fade away behind him, he wanted his feelings, his silly illusions to fade away.

And yet… A wedding? How could she have moved so fast? She’d given him her yes, she had been promised to him. Lies, so many lies, like his father had warned him.

He didn’t regret having returned to Frostlake. It was better to accept an uncomfortable truth than to keep wondering. And yet it felt wrong, as if that Ironhold prince was taking away something that should be his. Not something. Someone. Like Naia, she had made her choice. A clear choice, which wasn’t him.

All the times his father had told him to be careful, not to open his heart, came to his mind. He’d thought it was nonsense, but it turned out to be true. And how could it not be true?

Fel had been delusional thinking that any girl could truly love him. And he’d made the mistake of setting his foolish hopes on the heir of a kingdom, a princess more beautiful than what any artist could conceive. Some silly fantasy that she’d choose him, defective as he was. Incomplete. All his magic, all his power, didn’t change the fact that he’d never have real fingers to run through her hair, he’d never be able to properly hold her hand.

He galloped away, hoping that the pain, the shame, the hurt wouldn’t catch up with him, hoping that they would stay all behind. Remain in Frostlake, frozen with his heart.

* * *

Leah waitedin a small adjacent room by the reception hall, secretly hoping the wedding would be annulled or something. Then what? She was hoping for the impossible, still thinking she’d seen Fel, still… Still wanting him—and knowing she had to stuff down those pointless thoughts, swallow her pain.

The Ironholds and her mother had made such a fuss, as if they had never seen anyone feeling ill before. Sure that she had ruined her dress—and Venard’s suit. It had been an awful spectacle, but still… It wasn’t as if she’d committed some horrible transgression that justified the horror in her mother’s eyes, the disgust in the guests’ faces, and those whispers… Whispers that sounded like censure and mockery, and yet low enough that she never discerned the words.

Now her mother and the Ironholds were having negotiations again, which was pretty odd. Were they going to reject her because she’d felt sick? The weird part was that she was hoping that would be the case. Hoping that she wouldn’t have to visit Ironhold, hoping… She didn’t even know what. But then, the wedding had been concluded. Wedding. Leah was married—and yet it didn’t feel like it.

The door opened, and it was her father. His face was calm, which brought her immense relief, after being pushed into this room as if she were some kind of criminal.

“Too nervous, Leah?”

“I think so.” She choked back a sob.

He sighed. “Well, this wedding was quite sudden. But you do understand why it was so rushed, don’t you?”

She nodded because if she tried to speak, she’d break down crying.

His eyes were calm and he even had a hint of a smile. “It’s all good, and might be for the best.”

Hope lit up in her heart. “Did they annul the marriage?”

“Oh, no, don’t worry. Everything is fine and you’re set to go to Ironhold with them, to get to know their kingdom. King Harold and the queen won’t be there, but you’ll get to know the rest of the family. Now, the important thing is that your husband will wait longer for the consummation, which is a good idea.”

Leah had so many questions, but one of them stood out. “What’s a consummation?”

He paused, as if the answer had gotten stuck in his mouth, then, after a while, said, “Ask your mother.”

“What does it have to do with the fact I got sick?”

He bit his lip. “Some nonsense. But your mother will tell you.”

But when her mother came, she was in a foul mood and hurried Leah to her bedroom to change, and Leah didn’t feel at ease to ask her question. But she had to ask it.

After she changed, when the maids were gone, Leah took a deep breath and said, “Mom, what happens in the consummation?”

Her mother paused, took a deep breath, then bit her lip. “Leah… Just relax and everything will be fine.”

“But how? And what happens?”

“You’ll lie down together. The first time you can maybe think about something you like. Imagine you’re in a wonderful place, close your eyes and just forget about what’s happening. That’s all you need to know.”

Leah swallowed.

Her mother shook her head and hugged her. “Leah, darling, I’m sorry I was angry. I… people talk.” She smiled. “But you’ll be fine and you’ll be happy.”

Leah nodded, and before she could even realize what was going on, they descended the stairs and then she was ushered into a carriage with Venard and his grandmother, Lady Celia, an elegant widow with pretty gray hair and piercing dark eyes, which were focused on Leah, making her feel small and insignificant. Venard, for his part, was looking out the window, as if uninterested in talking to her.

Leah was trembling, ill at ease in that small, hostile space which felt as if it was about to suffocate her. Out the window, her castle was getting smaller and smaller, fading away in the distance. This felt very different from when she’d seen her city from up above, when she had still believed in falling in love, when her heart had been young and hopeful, full of romantic dreams. Now everything she knew was behind her, while she moved towards the unknown.

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