Page 37 of My Cowboy Salvation
Chapter 19
Dylan
I parkthe truck up to the curb in front Carol’s Bakery and Cafe on Friday afternoon and step out into a fragrant breeze that holds the faint smell of burning leaves, cider, and doughnuts. Like Pavlov’s dog, my mouth instantly waters with the desire to sink into one of Carol’s fall treats.
Stepping onto the sidewalk, I admire the rows of carved pumpkins in front of her stoop and lining the window displays, the results of a pumpkin-carving contest she held over the weekend. Two smiling princesses and a pirate exit the store with their mom, who’s holding a box of some confectionary delights. Considering the hopped-up bounces and laughter from the kids, I doubt they need any more sugar circulating in their bodies. It’s a little early for trick or treating with Halloween a few days away, so I’m guessing they’re off to a party in early celebration.
I smile as they head on their way, watching them disappear around the corner. I’m only standing there for a few seconds when that strange, unsettling feeling returns. Goosebumps trail up my arms, and the skin at the back of my neck tingles. Just like at the ranch the other day, it feels almost like someone’s watching me.
Scanning the sidewalks, I don’t see anything suspicious, just a few people with faces I’m starting to recognize as residents of this town.
I’m being paranoid. Everything is fine.
Inside, I look around for my coffee date, spotting Parker immediately as he stands and grins at me, his sandy brown hair flopping boyishly over his brow, reminding me of how handsome he is and how well he’s grown into his looks. He looks exactly like I would expect a soon-to-be law student would look in khaki pants, a green long-sleeved polo, and the air of confidence. I’ve just come from Hope’s ranch and am still dressed for laboring in the stalls in my jeans, turtleneck, and thick barn jacket, but Parker wanted to meet me here instead of at home, so it was what it was.
“Hi, Dylan.” He waits for me to sit down to join. “I ordered you a chai latte and pumpkin scone. I think I remember you saying they were your favorite.” He gestures to the food waiting for me.
“You remember well.” I lift the large mug and take a sip of the rich, creamy brew. “Delicious.”
For a few minutes, we chat about how his studying is coming, how the stables went, and how we’re both in a bit of weather shock from the chilly Montana temperatures—temperatures we’ve been assured are actually warmer than what might be an incoming snow storm.
“So, you’re probably wondering why I asked to meet you here,” he says finally.
I know Parker didn’t ask me here to talk about the weather, and I have some suspicion about what this meeting is about. I just hope I manage to be tactful and kind without crushing him. Again.
“I know this isn’t the best time to bring this up,” he says nervously, turning his mug in a circle on the table in front of him. “That you’re dealing with a scary situation with your ex, but I’m worried if I don’t tell you this now, I might never have another chance.” He exhales a shaky breath. “I love you, Dylan. I never stopped, and once this all settles down, I’m hoping maybe you’ll give us another shot. I know you said we were heading down different paths and all that, but I think we’re older now, and if we love each other, we can make it work.”
Okay, it’s exactly what I expected, and yet I’m still thunderstruck by the intensity of his declaration. “But what about Lauren? I know you two broke up, but I always got the impression you were really into her.”
“I really liked Lauren, but I didn’t love her. At least not in the same way I loved you. When I finally admitted that to myself, I knew I had to end things. Then you reached out to me, needing my help, and it just hit home how much I still love you and would do anything to help you. Spending time with you this past week has only confirmed all those feelings.” He leans forward, his hand resting over mine, the hope burgeoning in his eyes. “Like I said, I know you’re going through stuff, but I need to know if you think there could be a chance for us to try again.”
There it was. The question I have been worried about since Logan first planted in my head the possibility that Parker still loved me. It’s my turn for a deep breath, and I rest my other hand over his, squeezing his between mine as if I could somehow give him strength for what I have to say.
“Parker, you’re right. Having you here this past week has been amazing. Almost like old times. And yes, I do care about you, and I love you but—” His face freezes and I see the dark shadow of pain entering his eyes. “But I don’t love you in the same way I think you love me. Parker, you’re one of my best friends. Maybe even my best friend. And for that, I’ll always love and care about you.”
He pulls his hand away, staring at me as if I punched him in the gut. Then he turns from me as if trying to compose himself, taking a moment before meeting my gaze. “Is this because you’re not in the right headspace to think of any kind of romantic relationship with anyone? Because if you’re not sure, I can wait. I can wait for however long you might need to—”
I shake my head. “No. I’m sorry, Parker. And it kills me to disappoint and hurt you like this, especially since I can count on one hand the people I love the most in my life and you’re one of them, but I know my feelings won’t change. Not to the point you’re hoping for.”
There’s a long pause and, as if maybe having some sixth sense that we need a rescue, Carol appears at our table. “How’s everything tasting?”
“It’s good,” we both say, trying to smile assuringly at her.
“Great.” She sets a small rectangle box in front of us. “I thought I’d send you home with a little sample of something I’ve been cooking up for the coming holiday season. They’re my signature apple streusel muffins with a bit of a twist. Maybe you can tell me if you like them next time you come in.”
“Thanks, Carol. We will,” I say, forcing a smile. She pauses and gives me a slight nod and disappears in the back.
Parker glances down and then back at me, and I sense a shift in his spirit. “Look, Dylan. I won’t pretend that your rejection isn’t killing me right now and that I’d love nothing more than to storm out of here to nurse my wounds. But, like you, there are only a handful of people I really care about, and you’re one of them. So, as painful as this has been, I don’t regret any of it. I don’t regret sending you here to Montana. I don’t regret any of our time spent together, and I don’t regret being honest with you about my feelings.”
“Me either. I’m glad you told me this, because I would hate to think you were waiting for something to happen with me, and missing out on finding someone who will love you as much as you love them. And you will, Parker, I know it. You’re too incredible for love not to find—”
My mouth suddenly goes dry, and my heart seems to have stopped momentarily as something outside catches my attention.
Not something. Someone. Someone in a long, black wool coat, dark slicked back hair, and the tall, stately stature so much like one other person I know.
It can’t be. My heart seems to have started beating again, but painfully so, and now is racing at a pace that’s making me feel faint and nauseous. Every instinct in me tells me to run, and I’m up out of my chair, nearly knocking it over.
“Dylan? Dylan?” It takes me a second to realize Parker is trying to get my attention, and I meet his concerned gaze. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
