Page 64 of Biker's Baby

TWENTY-EIGHT

Iris

“I really was goingto tell you,” I said, knowing that it sounded like the biggest crock of shit on the planet. “Really, I was.”

“Just waited a couple of years?” he asked.

His words stung.

“Fair. Okay, I wasn’t going to tell you before I came here. But when I did come back to you for help, I knew before I got here that I would wind up telling you. Now I was just waiting for the right time,” I explained.

“And you had no idea when that would be?” He stared at me. “Not like early on in the time you spent here?”

“Well, I was afraid you would think that I was coming after you for something that I wasn’t. Or that you would find it too much to handle and kick me out. The closer we got to each other, the more I planned on telling you. If anything, I would have made sure you knew when I was on my way out the door,” I said.

“So what? Then you could tell me that this was my kid – but I wasn’t allowed to know the entire time I had to spend with him and now that you’re not here I get to figure out how to get to spend time with him?” he shot back.

I sensed the tension. I didn’t get the impression he was angry, but there was definitely that tension in the air, and I didn’t want this to escalate into an argument. I knew he wouldn’t take the news well when I did finally tell him the truth, and the fact was, he was reacting better than I’d expected at least.

Now I just wanted to make sure we got through this initial discussion without it turning into something that tore us apart. I was growing more attached to him each day, and the thought of him getting so pissed off at me now that he left was enough to make me break down in tears right then.

“No!” I cried. “That’s not it at all. I didn’t know how you were going to take the news. You have to give me the benefit of the doubt here, Abe. You know me well enough to know that I try to do the right thing. So I had to have my reasons for not coming to you in the first place, right?”

I couldn’t stand having this conversation across the room. The living room wasn’t very big, but I didn’t want to be on the chair with Abe on the couch and Tris in between us. This was the kind of conversation I wanted to have side by side.

This was huge, and I felt that we should share it as much as possible.

“Okay,” he said after a pause. “Fair enough. So now would be a great time for you to tell me the whole story. If you have your reasons, I’m dying to know what they are.”

I took a breath.

“Obviously it all started with what happened the last time I was here looking for help from you.”

“Obviously.” He rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t know I was pregnant when I left,” I said. “I didn’t know for almost two months after. And at that point, I decided that the best thing to do was to treat what happened as what it was – a fling.”

Abe winced slightly at the words, and for a brief moment I felt bad. I knew he was still hurt over the fact that he had asked me to stay and I’d still left. But I had also done what I felt was right at the time. I wasn’t going to come crawling back to him when I found out I was pregnant.

“You’re sure it’s mine?” he asked.

I gave him a look, and he put his hands up defensively.

“Not judging in the slightest. I’m just saying, you’re sure Tris is my son?”

“Yes, I know for a fact that Tris is yours,” I said, trying not to be offended by the implication I’d go sleep around like that. I knew bikers had a lifestyle like that at times, but it wasn’t for me.

“I thought I’d be a single mother, but then I met Joel. He was so kind and so sweet. He was just what I needed at that time in my life. And he didn’t mind the fact that I had a newborn baby to care for. I thought that he was a Godsend at the time. I had no idea what it would turn into,” I said.

Abe nodded, though he still hadn’t said enough for me to know what he was thinking. I felt exposed. I had told him everything there was to share, and I wasn’t sure what to do now. Tris was still playing on the floor at our feet, not at all bothered with the conversation we were having in front of him.

He wasn’t old enough to make sense of it, but it still felt strange to me to be talking about such things with him sitting right there. On the other hand, I was hoping that him being there would help Abe to remember the one we were talking about. I wasn’t telling him that some random kid he had nothing to do with was his son.

This was a little boy that he had grown fond of over the time we were here. It really shouldn’t change his life that much to have Tris as his son or not. That is, if he didn’t want to continue raising Tris, I was willing to be the sole parent.

“What about his birth certificate?” Abe asked. “What did you do about that?”

“I had you listed as the father,” I said. “You don’t have to be present for that, and I thought if fate would have it that you would be in his life one day, you would want to know that you were on the certificate, too. Plus, that was another reason why I thought you were better off not knowing. You were new in town at the time, and so much had been asked of you, I didn’t want you to feel like you were suddenly being roped into something you hadn’t signed up for. It just seemed like the best option for everyone for me to do things the way I did.”

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