Page 10 of Total Ship Show

Oh, my God.

“Pink Dildo.”

Correction. Oh, my God!

I nearly spit out my drink. “Uhh, is that how you approach all the ladies?”

He smiles and shrugs. “Only the ones who throw their pink sparkly dicks at my feet.”

“I didn’t…” I roll my eyes, glancing sideways and noticing that Malachi has clearly heard the start of this conversation. “Okay fine. It was an accident. And for the record, I don’t make a habit of throwing dicks at men.”

“Good to know. You’re forgiven.” Hottie McBlue-eyes nods behind me to Malachi. “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Malachi grabs a bottle of Corona, removes the cap and hands it to the man formally known as Dildo Guy. Hottie McBlue-eyes is a definite upgrade.

“You cruising alone?” he asks me.

“Uhhh…” I side-eye Malachi. “Nooo?” Yep, that’s right. I just said no in question format. “My boyfriend is downstairs with the uhhh…concierge.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I must’ve missed him on the plane and…the airport.”

Fuck.

Abort, Adrienne! Abort!

Grabbing another quick glance at Malachi who is dutifully drying a glass over and over and over again, my shoulders drop, and I give in way too easily.

“Okay, I lied, alright? Yes. I’m a single girl on this lovey-dovey cruise because my wingman of a friend back home fell in love with some girl and thought it uncouth to come away with me for a week. I mean, can you even imagine the nerve of him?” I scoff trying to play off the fact I’m a single loser on a love cruise.

Hottie McBlue-eyes shakes his head as if I’m telling the most unbelievable tale. “Wait, your male best friend is your wingman? What kind of asshole is the wingman for his female friend but falls in love with some other girl instead of the one right here in front of him? Isn’t that like…a classic romantic comedy story in the making?”

Maybe it’s the Corona, but I immediately feel my cheeks blush. “Okay, first of all, I’m going to take that as a compliment, so thank you very much. And secondly, ew no. Joaquin and I have only ever been just friends. Honestly, I thought he was gay for years, but turns out he’s not?” I shrug. “I’m just sooo not his type which is totally fine. I’m happy he’s happy…even if that puts me here alone…and in need of a good lie to tell my friends.”

“Oh, so you’re not really here alone. You have your friends.”

I bob my head. “Well yes and no. Old sorority sisters planned this couples trip. So, they’re all bringing their significant others. I just uhh…” I take a huge gulp of my Corona, because liquid courage. “I haven’t told them that my significant other bailed.”

“Meh, don’t worry. It won’t be so bad. Maybe you’ll find some hot guy aboard to pal around with. “

A snort escapes me. “Yeah. Maybe I’ll meet and fall in love with some hot doctor and live happily ever after, right? I mean stranger things have happened in this crazy world, right?”

Hottie McBlue-eyes chokes on his sip and coughs a few times. I almost ask him if he’s alright when he puts his hand up and nods, taking a second drink. Why do people do that, by the way? Choke on a sip of liquid and to combat the choked-on liquid, they drink more liquid? WTF?

“Stranger things have definitely happened, I’m sure.”

I offer my hand to my airport friend. “I’m Adrienne, by the way. I don’t think I ever told you that and while referring to me as Dildo Girl is pretty damn funny, I figured after holding my pink sparkly dick in your hands, you deserve to know my name.”

Laughing, he takes his hand in mine. “Pleasure to meet you, Adrienne. That’s a beautiful name by the way. I’m Aris McElfry.”

McElfry?

So, I wasn’t too far away with Hottie McBlue-eyes.

“Nice to meet you Aris.”

We each finish our first bottle of Corona quickly and ask for a second from Malachi before continuing our conversation.

“So, Aris McElfry, I didn’t see you on the plane with anyone either. Are you telling me you’re also here alone?”

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