Page 5 of Total Ship Show

Ooh bad luck for her.

Many walk by her ignoring the mess on the floor. Admittedly I consider doing the same, except I’m forced to freeze mid step when a certain item that fell from her purse rolls right into my path only stopping when it hits the end of my shoe.

No way.

Is that…?

“Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m sorry,” she says to those who have to move around her as she crawls on her hands and knees to collect her belongings. “Sorry.”

Still staring at the item stopped by my foot, I bite my tongue, so I don’t laugh out loud at the sight in front of me. She hasn’t looked my way yet, which makes me believe she has no idea it’s fallen from her purse.

Pick it up?

Or let it lie?

Pick it up?

Or let it lie?

What if she’s used it lately?

That’s kind of hot.

Or gross.

Is it gross or hot?

Is she hot?

Quickly scanning my eyes over the hot mess female on the floor, I smile. She’s a pretty girl in that non-high-maintenance kind of way. Her straight blonde hair hangs in a messy ponytail. She’s smaller than me, but with a healthy amount of meat on her bones. Not like those skinny bitch types who eat nothing but kale all day. She’s relatively fit if I had to guess by looking at her toned legs in those shorts. Her tanned skin tells me she’s probably not from my neck of the woods, but someplace a little more sunny. Her fingernails are painted a bold pink color that match her toenails, and when I finally get to see her face, I’m almost taken aback by her simple beauty. Little to no makeup. None of that caked on crap some women think they need. Thin lips that she worries between her teeth as she grabs for her belongings. A cute little nose I could see myself kissing and mesmerizing hazel eyes.

Yeah. She’s hot.

“Oh shit,” I hear her mumble as she looks my way. It’s then that I come back to my senses and realize the item that fell from her bag is still laying against my shoe. She starts to crawl my way to grab it, but I crouch down and meet her face to face. Reaching down with a playful smirk, I wrap my hand confidently around the pink sparkly dildo and watch as her jaw drops, her eyes bug out, and her cheeks turn almost the same shade of pink as her nail polish.

Clearing my throat, I hold the dildo out to her. “I think you dropped this, Ma’am.”

“I…” She stares at me, way too embarrassed to say anything. Then she squeezes her eyes closed and tries to hide her grin. “I am so sorry. God, this is…beyond embarrassing.”

“Nah, nothing to be embarrassed about. If I had a pink sparkly dick, I would want to show it off too.”

Blondie laughs and shakes her head as I hand her dildo back to her and watch her shove it down into her bag. Her bag that I imagine she wishes were like Mary Poppins’ bag that seems to go on forever so she could hide that dildo and have it never be seen again.

“Well, not everyone can be so lucky, you know,” she says to me. “Pink sparkly dicks are a rarity these days and very hard to come by.”

“Clearly, they’re not that hard tocomeby or I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have one.”

She laughs again. “I see what you did there.”

Son of a bitch, she laughed at my joke.

Can’t wait to tell Kohen some girl laughed at my joke.

“Thank you for uh…”

“Saving your pink sparkly dick from whatever kind of harsh demise it was headed for?”

She snaps her fingers and points to me, nodding. “Yeah. That. Now if you could just pretend you never saw my pink sparkly dick rolling around on the ground like someone practicing the stop, drop, and roll, I can go about my trip not feeling utterly mortified that some random attractive guy just saw my most beloved sex toy.

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