Page 20 of Total Ship Show

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“Really?” Aris whispers on our way back to my friends after introducing me to his family. “A snapping turtle to your nipple? That was a hell of a story.”

I can’t help but snicker beside him. “What? If we’re going to have a tight relationship, we may as well make it interesting.”

He chuckles and takes my hand in his. “Fair enough, Turtle Tit Tayla, but keep in mind our fascinating relationship will obviously go both ways.”

“Bring it on, Doctor.”

CHAPTERSIX

ARIS

“Soooo,”Hillary eyes us from across the table where Adrienne’s friends are all seated for dinner. Well, everyone that is, except for Pippa and Jock Strap James. Who knows where they are…and right now who really cares? “Where did you two meet?”

“She was a patient on my operating table,” I tell them, passing a grin to Adrienne.

“Oh, wow. I don’t remember you telling us you had surgery, Ade,” Amanda tilts her head. “What did you do?”

“Well, I—”

“Oh no, no, no.” I place my hand on her left thigh. “Allow me to tell them. It was one of my most amazing moments, after all.”

I lean forward on the table as if I’m about to tell a secret. “Let’s just say, keep those little vibrating bullets on a string, ladies, because if you let those little fuckers in, they’ll take you all the way to the upside down, and you’ll never be able to get out.”

The ladies at the table all squeal. “Holy shit, Ade!” Grace exclaims on the other side of her. “You got one of those stuck up there?”

“I—”

“She sure did.” I nod. “She was having orgasms the entire time she was being triaged until the moment I had to put her out so I could do my job and give the poor girl some relief.”

She gives me a look that could probably do me in if looks could kill but I give her a playful peck on the cheek and an easy-going grin in response.

Score one for Aris.

“So, how did you get her to date you, Aris?” Hillary asks.

“Easy.” I shrug. “I was infatuated with her when she came into the E.R that day. A girl going after what she wanted? I could respect that. Not to mention she was drop dead gorgeous. And it certainly didn’t hurt that I was listening to her climax over and over again. I mean the entire E.R. was listening to it, really.” I can’t help but chuckle. I amuse even myself.

“I knew I wanted to make a move even though I could’ve been fired for fraternizing with a patient. It was a risk I was willing to take, so when I went to check on her after she was done in recovery, I prescribed her a date with me. She said no a couple times, but I pursued her after she was discharged, and I finally got her with my third attempt.”

“Did you show up with flowers or something?” Amanda suggests. “We all know how much Adrienne loves her purple roses.”

Purple roses. Noted.

“Nope.” I shake my head. “Even better. Once she was home, I sent her a pink sparkly dildo. Something better to replace the tiny bullet I had to remove.”

Everyone laughs and I can see Adrienne’s cheeks blushing with embarrassment…albeit humorous embarrassment. I don’t think she’s that pissed at me.

“And wouldn’t you know it…” I point my finger. “A few weeks later at the airport I spot her running down Terminal B, her bag strap broken. She drops the bag and among several other things, that dildo spills out and rolls across the floor only to stop at my feet. It was fate.” I lean back in my chair, staring at her. “She couldn’t say no to me after that one.”

Adrienne can only play along with my story because there’s no way in hell she can tell anyone this is all a farce. Well, not all of it. So instead, she nods and gives me a playful wink.

“It’s true. And when he showed up for our first date, he was whistling ‘I Wish I Was an Oscar Meyer Wiener’.”

Okay okay, she can have that one.

“I about died laughing and we’ve been happily together ever since.”

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