Page 77 of Total Ship Show

“I’m going to jump in the shower and then I’m going to spend the rest of our time together with you in my arms and we’re going to figure this out, alright?”

Wiping my tears, I nod a few times. “Yeah. Alright.”

Aris grabs his things and makes his way into the bathroom while I lay in bed for a few minutes silently battling with myself over what to do when tonight comes to an end and the inevitability of tomorrow comes.

I reach for my phone on the nightstand just as Aris’s phone lights up next to mine with an incoming text.

Kohen: Sounds like you found yourself a rockin’ cruise call-girl.

My stomach drops and my breath catches.

“Cruise call-girl?” I whisper to myself. “Is he talking about me?” I swallow a hard lump in my throat knowing I shouldn’t be doing what I’m about to do but I can’t help myself now. I open Aris’s texts and read his conversation hoping to find some sort of context that tells me there’s no reason to be alarmed.

Kohen: Wow. Even better than that hooker you hired in New York City so you would have someone to kiss for New Year’s Eve?

Me: 100 times better.

Kohen: Wow. This girl must be a good faker.

Me: Dude, she’s winning over my family. My brothers!

Kohen: Impressive. You sleep with her yet?

Me: Fuckin right I did! She was mine the minute I blew my load in her in the back of a dark theater.

I don’t want to read anymore.

“They were right.”

What Adam and Aiden told me earlier wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t just brothers giving their sibling a hard time. He’s hired women before and though he was never paying me to help him out, we still came to an agreement. He just got lucky that I needed help too and didn’t ask for money.

Though he did buy me gifts.

Were those meaningless too?

Sex wasn’t even on the table when we first talked about our situations.

That’s on us.

On me.

I could’ve said no, and I didn’t.

I wanted it just as badly as he did.

Fuck!

God, I feel like such a fool. Like an enormous idiot who played right into his hands.

Not anymore.

I throw back the covers and angrily wipe my tears from my face even though they continue to fall faster than I can get rid of them and slip on my pjs. My stuff mostly packed for tomorrow morning, I throw any remaining items into my suitcase, grab the hoodie I laid overtop Aris’s suitcase, slip on my flip flops, and scribble a quick note on the back of a receipt lying on the desktop.

Quietly, I open the door, turn back to look at the bathroom door knowing the man I gave myself to this week, the man I was falling for, the man I could see myself with for a lifetime, isn’t the man I thought he was at all.

“Goodbye, Aris,” I whisper, letting the door close behind me. I look left and right, trying to decide where to go for the night where Aris won’t find me.

My old room should be a no-go as it’s the first place he’ll look, but then again even if he knocks, I don’t have to answer the door. I would like to think he wouldn’t make a scene but what the hell do I know at this point? If it gets too bad, I can call security and have him removed. It’ll be hella embarrassing but it’s an answer and right now, I’m not sure what else to do. Angry and defeated I unlock my old stateroom and pull my belongings inside. I turn on one lamp near the bed and leave all other lights off so Aris doesn’t know I’m here. Then I fall back onto my bed and cry.

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