Page 14 of Total Ship Show

“Well…” She clears her throat. “Thank you then for your humble sacrifice. If there’s any way I can possibly repay you for…well, I guess for putting you through two very strange encounters today…”

“Actually, there is something.” Now it’s time for me to be nervous. “It’s awkward and ridiculous and it’s totally okay if you want to say no.”

“What? Do you have a dick in your pock…oh…shit…wait…”

A dick in my pocket that would be happy to see you?

Yes. Yes, I do.

She throws her hand over her face in a fit of giggles. “Fucking fuck, I did it again! Why am I so awkward? I swear I meant to make a joke about a dick in your purse but then realized halfway through my sentence that one, you don’t have a purse and two, you really do have a dick, albeit probably not nearly as pretty as mine, and so I—”

“Whoa. Adrienne, I’m gonna stop you right there.” I hold up my finger.

She sucks in her lips to keep herself from saying anymore and it’s the cutest thing.

“I’ll have you know my dick may not be adorned with glitter like yours, but if you were to ever actually see it, you would agree that it is indeed an exquisite piece of art. It doesn’t even need batteries to do what it’s supposed to do.”

“Wow!” she whispers.

“I know. I take great pride in my…manly bits. I am a medical professional after all.”

She snorts. “Riiight. That was a good one by the way, Dr. McElfry. You really stuck it to James back there.”

Oh, she’s going to be so embarrassed.

I don’t even bother to reply.

I just slowly sip my beer as she watches me.

Her smile fades.

Her head tilts.

Her eyes narrow.

“Wait…are you…?

Grinning, I finally nod. “Dr. Aris McElfry, Chief of general surgery, Seattle City Hospital. Everyone actually calls me Dr. Elf. Well, the kids anyway.”

Her mouth falls open and her eyes bulge. “You’re shitting me, right? You’re a surgeon?”

A chuckle escapes me. “No shitting. I promise. I remove appendices and spleens and random shit that kids swallow and sometimes I get something really cool like someone impaled by a random metal rod or tree branch and one time I even removed six paint brushes from some man’s ass.”

She’s still smiling all over herself, staring at me in amazement. “You even let me laugh at the idea of finding a hot doctor to hang out with this week even though you…”

I nod trying not to laugh at her. “Yeah, I kinda thought that was cute so I let it go.”

“Oh, my God, I am such an idiot.”

“No, you’re definitely not an idiot. You’re fun and funny and I like that. There’s no awkwardness here, I promise.”

She shakes her head like she’s shaking herself out of a funk. “Okay, well anyway, you were saying there was something I could do for you. Tell me about it.”

I suck in all my courage and think to myself, if Kohen could do it, I can do it. She’s fun to be around. We seem to hit it off. Maybe she’ll be game, and this could be a great week of mischief and mayhem for the both of us.

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. I’m game. Whatever it is. Hit me.”

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