Page 94 of Beautiful Crazy

And the icing on this shit cake…her purple hard-shell suitcase is not in her closet where it belongs.

I back up against the bed and throw myself back, my hands in my hair. “FUCK! Emily.”

Her name comes weakly from my lips as my stomach turns and my chest heaves. “Where did you go?”

I want to start sending rapid fire texts to everyone I know asking if anyone has info on where she might be but then I’ll really start a panic if she’s just out for a bit.

But why would she take so much stuff with her if she’s coming right back?

Be real. She’s not coming right back.

I’m in full-blown panic mode and I don’t know what to do.

Emily’s gone.

I don’t know why she left.

I don’t know where she is.

I don’t know if she’s alright.

This is by far the most helpless I’ve felt since Dad’s diagnosis.

Once I take a chance to breathe and calm myself down, at least as much as I can given the circumstances, I send several more texts to Emily praying she’ll answer just one of them.

Me:Em, please tell me you’re alright.

Me:I don’t know where you went but your stuff isn’t here. Please Emily, I need you.

Me:Okay I get you’re pissed at me. I promise whatever it is we can work through it. I just need you to talk to me. Please Em. I love you so much.

Me:I don’t know what’s going on and I’m really worried about you.

Me:Will you please tell me where you are? Let me help you.

Me:Emily…I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Whatever it is, please, just let me know you’re safe.

I throw my phone down and turn my head on the mattress, heartbroken and alone. Lola finally meows right before she jumps up onto the mattress next to me. My eyes fall to Emily’s bedstand where she usually keeps a book, her reading glasses, hand cream, lip gloss, and the jar of thoughts I gave her for Valentine’s Day. All of those things are missing now.

The jar of thoughts!

I bolt upright on her bed.

She took it with her.

“That has to mean something, right?”

Desperate for any word from her, I send out a few texts in hopes someone I know will know where she is.

Me:Hey ladies. Have either of you heard from Emily today?

Lacey:Nope. I haven’t. Everything okay?

Hadley:Sorry. Even if she had, my ringer was down this morning while I finished a few cakes. But my phone doesn’t say that she called. What’s going on?

Me:Nothing. No worries. Just curious. Thanks.

“So, she didn’t go to Bardstown? Or if she did, she maybe went straight home. But I can’t just call her parents and ask if she’s there. If she’s not there, then they’ll know something is up and she’s missing. Fuck!”

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