Page 20 of Beautiful Crazy

“Nope, Elias is his best man because he didn’t want to choose between brothers. Totally would’ve been me though, I know it.” He winks as he shuts the door behind him. “So, what did we get your mom for her birthday?”

“I sent her a beautiful bouquet of pink roses and then ooooh, I forgot to tell you, I found her this super awesome cheese grater in the shape of a penis.”

Emmett stops in his tracks, cringing. He crosses his legs for good measure. “You found her a what?”

“You know she collects cheese graters. I don’t know why she does what she does. But she’s got a few awesome ones and I just happened to come across one online that looks like a dildo. I mean, anything can be a dildo if you’re brave enough, am I right? Anyway, she’s going to flip out. Dad will think it’s hilarious.”

Emmett’s eyes grow about three sizes larger. “First of all, let’s put a pin in that comment about anything being a dildo if you’re brave enough because we might need to discuss your behaviors in that regard somewhere down the line. But also, you’re going to have your mom whip that thing out of that pretty pink gift bag,” he says, gesturing to the bag in my hand. “And it’s going to be a penis grater?”

“Ew Emmett!” I burst out laughing. “A shredded penis is no bueno! This is a cheese grater that looks like a penis…not a penis grater. God, what horror movie did you come out of? Those are two totally different things.”

“Oh, my God, does one even exist? A penis shredder?”

“I mean…if you’re stupid enough to stick your dick in a meat grinder then…BAM! Penis shredder. Are we leaving yet? We’re going to be late.” I wink at him, giggling as we both get in the car and head home to Bardstown.

___

We pull up to my childhood home across town from where Emmett grew up and a comforting smile crosses my face. There’s no place like home. My parents’ house sits at the end of Old Country Lane – a road name that still confuses delivery drivers to this day - and is surrounded by fields as far as the eye can see. Behind the house a bit sit two large red barns that I used to play in as a kid while Dad worked on his tractors. It’s the perfect picture of country living out here. I can almost hear the spring peepers, see the summer lightning bugs, and smell the wet leaves of autumn. As much as I don’t love the winter, I do appreciate that we live in an area that experiences all four seasons throughout the year. There’s really nothing like country living, and I hope to get back to it one day once I’ve made a name for myself.

As Emmett parks the car my cell phone dings in my back pocket. I maneuver my hand back to grab for it and when I look at the screen, see a text from my brother.

Wes:Hey, we’re right behind you. Don’t go in yet. I have something to tell you.

“It’s Wes.”

Emmett chuckles. “Did he weasel out of coming into town?”

“No, he said not to go in yet, he has something to tell me first.”

Emmett’s brow pinches. “What does that mean?”

“Heck if I know.” I turn my head and look out my window as my brother’s car comes up the driveway. “But there he is, so I guess we’re about to find out.”

Wes pulls up right next to us and I’m surprised to see he has Jenny with him. “Well, bless his heart,” I say in my best southern twang. “Wes went and brought his Georgia peach with him.” Emmett grins, but he knows I like Wes’s girlfriend. It’s nice having another girl in the family to chat with from time to time.

At that moment, Wes opens his door and climbs out of the car. “Fancy meeting you two here, huh?” He smiles and then circles around to open the door for Jenny.

How gentlemanly of him.

“Yeah. Perfect timing.” Emmett and Wes exchange some sort of secret brotherly handshake while Jenny and I hug it out, complimenting each other’s hair and outfit.

“So, Wes, what did you need to tell me before we go in. Are Mom and Dad okay?”

“Oh yeah, they’re fine,” he answers. “But there’s something you need to know before you have any kind of conversation with Dad.”

My face falls and goosebumps spread over my arms. “Why?”

With one eye open, Wes cringes and I immediately school my features to show no emotion. I can tell he’s about to tell me something I’m not going to like.

“Well, Dad may or may not be under the impression that you two are…” He gestures between Emmett and me.

With a tingly feeling moving through my chest, I glance at Emmett and then back at my ridiculous older brother. “We’re what, Wes?”

Wes doesn’t have to answer because Emmett answers for him. “A couple. Your dad thinks we’re a couple.”

I step away from Emmett with a bewildered expression. “What? You knew about this?”

“What? No.” Emmett chuckles. “But it’s written all over your brother’s face, Em.”

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