Page 1 of Specter

Chapter One

Inroomfour,onthe third floor of the most exclusive home in New Orleans, there lived a—somewhat—grown man who still wanted to believe in Santa Claus. Noah hoped—if he was really, really good the entire year—a man with daddy-like tendencies would be dropped down the chimney for him. Obviously, this was a pipe dream, but that was Noah in a nutshell. He was completely beyond all hope. Noah had tried working adult jobs. He got distracted too easily. Four different bosses had fired him in the last seven months. He hadn’t known how to fend for himself once desperation had exhausted him. One day, he looked around and found himself over two thousand miles from everything he knew and a lifetime away from the only person who ever loved him. At that point, Noah had sat down and given up. Yet, somehow, he still thought Santa could save him.

“Daddy says we can decorate the Littles’ area any way we want for the Christmas party. There’s so much new stuff, I don’t know where to start.”

In his favorite kitty pajamas, the one with the kitty paws for feet, Noah stared at the art supplies Benji spread across the bedroom floor. Markers, crayons, and glitter glue, as far as the eye could see. Despite his excitement, he was still a little intimidated. “Nothing I do will be as good as yours. You’re a real artist. I just like to color.”

It was true. Benji was a genuine street artist who made the most beautiful pictures Noah had ever seen. Still, Benji huffed at Noah’s claim. “Art is supposed to be fun. Not a competition. Plus, none of the daddies who come to the party will look for anything I’ve created. Silas would poke their eyes out.” Benji made a rapid punching motion with two fingers out, mimicking his words.

Noah covered his mouth to stifle a laugh. He loved Benji. If not for Benji, Noah would still be homeless, moving from shelter to shelter and running from himself. He had scooped Noah from the street like a stray dog, brought him home, and cherished him like a prized pet. Maybe he would be dead without Benji and Silas. Still, he very much wanted someone like Silas to call his own. He was ready to move on with a new life… maybe. At least, that was what he kept telling himself.

The blond beauty sitting quietly at Benji’s side leaned Benji’s way and spoke against his ear. Noah waited to hear what Tommy said. Tommy’s throat had been slashed by a jealous ex a few years ago. Now, he couldn’t speak above the quietest of whispers, but Benji understood him. Noah had quickly gotten used to their conversations being held this way. Tommy spoke to Benji. Benji spoke for them both.

“Tommy says we both have him beat. He hasn’t colored in years.”

That didn’t surprise Noah. Tommy wasn’t a Little like them. He was beautiful and moved with lithe confidence. Tommy worked Silas’ parties as a flower and collar boy. He handed out roses and collars for men to give to whoever they wanted to take home for the night. Men watched him everywhere he went. Tommy didn’t need the safety of footed pajamas and teddy bears. Despite the obvious trauma of his past, Tommy was a phoenix. Noah was just ash.

“You’re so pretty. We could draw your picture, and everyone would stare at it all night.”

Tommy blushed at Noah’s compliment. He whispered against Benji’s ear again. Benji smiled. He was gorgeous too. Of course, Benji had won the most sought-after man in all of New Orleans. Not only had he won Silas Dreco, but Silas had also married Benji within two weeks of meeting him. With his soft-looking hair and gorgeous eyes, Noah wasn’t surprised. Also, he had heard rumors of Benji’s kinkiness. Tommy and Benji possessed so much more than Noah ever would. He didn’t know how he would find a man to love him forever the way they had, but he hadn’t given up hope yet. Apparently, that was the one thing life hadn’t stolen from him. Honestly, it was kind of sad.

“Tommy wants to know what you’re looking for in a daddy. What’s your ideal man? He knows all the people who get invited to these events. If anyone can find the best fit for you, it’s him.”

Noah’s throat tightened at the question. In theory, he wanted a daddy. He hadn’t decided yet if he was brave enough to actually move on, though. An image of a dark-haired cowboy who smelled like leather and musk floated through Noah’s mind. The dark blue intense stare. Deep rumbles of praise. Goosebumps rose on his skin. “I had him once.” Noah didn’t know if he spoke to himself or if he answered Tommy’s question. Sometimes he lost himself to a memory. Or maybe he found the pieces of himself that he had lost to the past. Either way, something was forever gone from him. Noah didn’t think it could be recovered.

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over this ridiculously un-humble abode. Do you have any idea of the number of stairs I’ve traipsed? These old calves have never looked so fine.”

A smile snapped to Noah’s lips at Max’s sudden appearance. Max was a lawyer and British and probably a scoundrel, but he was also funny, and Noah liked him. Plus, he was always good to all the Littles. He was a bit irresistible. In a suit that cost more than a car, he plopped down on the floor and hiked up his pants leg to show off the calves he mentioned.

Noah smothered a laugh.

Tommy shook his head.

“Hey, Max. I didn’t know you were coming by today. You could’ve texted me. I have my phone.” Benji shook the device at him. “I would’ve told you where to find us.”

Max shrugged. “I ran into Kage. He pointed me in the right direction.”

Kage was Tommy’s husband. Noah was a little surprised Kage had sent Max to Noah’s room without tagging along as a guard. Kage tolerated Max, but Max and Tommy had a rocky past. Max’s brother was the man who had sliced Tommy’s throat. As far as Noah could tell, they were working on things.

Max eyed Tommy as if he expected to be told to get lost. “Actually, I was looking for you.”

Tommy’s head whipped Max’s way. He mouthed, “Me?”

Max nodded. He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a brightly wrapped box. “Not to get too mushy, especially since I’ve said it all before, but you’re like family to me. Whether or not you like it,” Max added with a tight smile. “This is just one gift of many I have for you. I’d be honored if you would drag Kage to spend Christmas Day with my husband and me.”

Tommy looked beyond shocked. His gaze dropped to the present. His fingers wrapped around the box.

Noah’s mind slipped away to the past.

“I have a gift for you.”

“For me?” Noah fought hard to hide his excitement. He failed miserably.

Duke nodded. He took Noah’s hand. “Come see. It’s in the barn.”

Noah suspected there was no present and he would be on his knees in the frigid hay soon. That was fine, though. That was a gift too. Being with Duke was everything to Noah. The stolen touches and lingering kisses. All the cuddles. Those were more precious than anything material. Noah felt safe with Duke. He was never safe.

“Wow.”

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