Page 4 of Chance

He stops the car by the lake and gets out as fast as possible. I go to do the same, and he again opens the car door for me before shutting it behind me and waving a hand for me to walk on. I walk ahead to the fishing pier and sit, hanging my legs over the edge. A dog walker waves at us as he walks past, and Seb sits next to me when I’m distracted. He is close, but not close enough to touch. Which I'm thankful for, because I can't trust my body around him now.

"I don't know where to start, May," he sayssadly as he gazes over the lake, the water is still in the dim light as the sun sets.

My heart stops at his use of his nickname for me. I haven't heard him use it in so long it hurts to hear, and I turn away from him to look at some ducks swimming in the lake in the distance.

"What do you want me to do? I didn't get rid of the baby like you asked. I just couldn't, Sebastian.” I don’t look at him as I speak, getting angrier as I talk more. “I’ll stay out of your way and your family’s if that's what you’re worried about.” I look up at his angry eyes as he takes a deep breath, as if he is controlling himself.

"What the fuck are you talking about, May? I haven't heard from you since that day.” He lifts a hand to my face, carefully turning my face so he has my eye contact. “I would never ask you to get rid of my child,"he says, willing me to believe him with his strong gaze.

I pull away with an angry frown. “I sent you a text after trying to call you, about a month after I left town, and you messaged me back,” I say carefully, I raise an eyebrow as he looks at me with confusion.

“When I realised I was pregnant, the first thing I did was message you after you didn’t answer my call, and you messaged back telling me to get rid of the baby. You also said to stay away from you, as I didn't mean anything to you anymore,"I say, I have to swallow the large lump in my throat as I look away. It’s too much to look at him. I pray for the tears to hold back from my eyes, as I can’t be weak around anyone, especially not Sebastian King.

"I never got any message. You have to trust me, May,"he promises, taking my hand, but I pull it away.

"Stop calling me that! How could I ever trust you?" I shout at him before standing up and pacing.

"You didn’t let me explain that night," he says so softly,I’m not sure if he even meant to say it.

His eyes are locked onto mine as I turn to face him. The passion and love in his eyes are too much for me to even look at him, what he is doing to me is tearing apart my resolve. I’m meant to hate the man, loathe him, and not want him to touch me.

"I don't want to talk about it."I lower my eyes to the old, wooden planks of the fishing deck.

"May, if you just let me tell you–"he says gently.

I cut him off by walking the few steps so that I’m standing in front of him.

"No. We don't talk about that night. I don't know if I can trust you about the text, but I will admit you looked shocked.” I stop talking and take a breath before saying the next words, which I may regret. “So if you want to be involved with the baby, you can."

Seb’s whole face lights up with a smile at my words, and I feel my lips pull up into a small smile, too, at the sight of his handsome dimples.

"Yes, I want to be there for you and the baby. I never stopped loving you, May."He looks into my eyes as he says that, and I have to look away over the lake because letting him be involved with his baby is one thing, but our ended relationship is another.

"Don’t say that,” I whisper, and his face falls in defeat as I keep talking. “Look, you can be around for the baby, but as for you and me, I can't hear you say stuff like that. You've hurt me enough, don't you think?"

I look over at him, and I'm shocked to see tears in his eyes as he speaks. "Yes, and that was the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. I want to be a dad, and I’ll do anything,"he says.

I shake my head and go to sit down on the end of the decking again, and he joins me after I wave a hand. I open my purse and pull out my twenty-week scan photo, and then hand it to him.

Seb’s hands shake as he takes the picture and stares at our baby for a long time as I watch a lot of different emotions flutter across his face.

"When I find out who texted you, they are going to pay for making me miss these months," he says darkly. "Do you know the sex?" He changes the subject quickly and looks at me for an answer.

I clear my throat, feeling a bit emotional at the thought of our baby. I may not have admitted it to myself, but I want this baby to have his dad in his life so much. Every child should get to know their father, even if they are the worst person in the world.

"Yes, it's a boy," I say, smiling at him as he grins back at me.

"Wow, a boy. I’ve always wanted a boy when I thought about our future, they are much easier to handle than a girl." He chuckles, and I choose to ignore his reference to our past.

"I'm six months, and the baby is due at the end of November," I say,so he knows.

"That’s close to Izzy’s birthday," he notes. I don’t comment as I know that’s the blonde who was there tonight. I’m guessing he knows her well if he knows her birthday. God, what if he is serious about this girl, and I have to put up with a step-mum added to this mess? I shake my head of my feelings, and I remember this is about my baby and not me.

"I have a sizing scan next week. If you want, you could come and see him,"I offer.

"I would love that, are you both doing okay?"he asks, looking at my bump now with a mixture of love and awe.

"Yes, we are good. It’s just that the baby is looking a little big, so I'm having more scans to keep an eye on him."I chuckle, rubbing my tummy when I feel him kick my bladder. I’m lucky I didn’t drink much at the restaurant.

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