Page 93 of Help Me Remember

The triggers were just as varied. Sometimes they came about because of something someone said or because of the way they said it. Other times it was a song or the sight of something my mind could relate to. I noticed that smells were usually the biggest trigger and the things I remembered more potently than anything else. I had been assured that was normal, as smell was the sense most closely tied to a person’s memory.

Those assurances meant nothing when I found myself locked into a memory that would haunt me for the rest of my days. Whether it was the people I’d personally hurt during my rise through the ranks of the family or the people I’d witnessed getting hurt. That all of the former and most of the latter had been other criminals of a particularly heartless variety didn’t matter. Or the memories of Katya, whose last words had been to me, drowned in blood and pain while I held her close.

Eric saw me shiver, and his anger disappeared as he stepped forward to take hold of my hand. “Hey.”

I squeezed it, bringing a smile to my face. “I’m alright.”

Eric raised a brow. “Yeah?”

“I mean it,” I said, and I did. “Just a nibble this time.”

Eric nodded. “Alright, well, if you feel like it’s more than a nibble, you’ll tell me?”

“I will,” I promised because despite how hard this complete honesty thing was, it was worth it if it meant having Eric with me. “Haven’t had something come up and take a good bite of me in a little while.”

It was the code between the two of us ever since I’d called him after waking up with the smell of lilac perfume and blood still in my nose. In the midst of trying to calm down to the sound of his voice, he’d asked me what was wrong. I tried to play it off, but he insisted, asking if something had risen from the depths and bitten me. The absurdity and absolute accuracy of the statement had broken the spell, and I’d laughed, saying it was big, with even bigger teeth. From that point forward, that had been our code to explain those moments when something bubbled up in my head.

“I did remember something interesting, though,” I told him as he leaned in for a kiss.

He looked disappointed at the interruption but raised his brow, curious. “What’s that?”

I grinned. “The first time I realized I was into you but didn’t want to admit it.”

“Oh yeah?” Now he was intrigued. If there was something he loved to hear, it was memories about the two of us. And if it just so happened to reinforce the fact that I’d had feelings for him as long as he’d had his for me, all the better.

“One of your swim meets,” I said with a chuckle. “Senior year. You in that skimpy little bikini.”

“They’re not—”

“And you got out of the pool, dropped your goggles, and bent over to grab them. I wouldn’t admit it to myself at the time, but the sight about gave me a heart attack.”

Eric cocked his head, smirking. “Is that your way of telling me I need to get a pair of Speedos for the beach?”

“Only if you wear them in the house first, so I’m not tempted to drag you somewhere private on the beach,” I told him bluntly because honesty wasn’t always difficult with him.

Eric laughed, standing on his tiptoes to grab the water bottle from me and kiss me. “Be right back.”

He left, and I could hear him talking with Agent Clee in the hallway. I’m sure the agent had heard our brief argument, but he was too polite to acknowledge it. I would bet Eric had found him standing as far away from us in the hallway as possible to ensure he didn’t overhear us. He was a good man, and I was glad he would be assigned to keep an eye on us while we were here.

How long it would last, I didn’t know. The last time I’d spoken to Ivy, she’d mentioned the possibility that they might find work for both of us in the city. With how much my memory was returning, they were growing confident they could use me. Nothing undercover again, even I had agreed with that, but the FBI worked with multiple nations for different reasons. It would work quite well if I pulled a liaison job, especially considering my fluency in Portuguese.

Eric returned, and I heard the front door close. I raised my brow. “What, no debriefing?”

“We were debriefed separately, and I told him if he repeated himself for a fifth time before leaving, I was going to shove the water bottle somewhere unpleasant,” Eric said, almost immediately wrapping his arms around my neck.

“You have such a way with words.”

“It’s a gift.”

“Any word on what they’re going to do with you?”

“Well, since my Portuguese no longer sounds like…what was it my teacher said? A strangled porpoise, whatever that means, they think I might be able to use my skills.”

I frowned. “Not…”

“Not for the government. There’s plenty of doctor’s offices and clinics in the city that could use someone like me. I requested something similar to what I did before, and they’re stewing it over.”

“Probably don’t want you getting mugged,” I told him, already guessing at where their hesitancy came from.

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